the singing cat - a music sharing project

Road to Zion

2010-01-07T20:48:00.003+11:00

I heard this song via Tom... his music tastes are pretty diverse too. You can really feel the beat. I have been dancing in my seat a little while making a new layout. :P I'm happy with what I've come up with. It'll be finished by tonight (I hope!) if I can figure out all the behind the scenes things - HTML and uploading it to Tom's server.

Damian Marley - Road to Zion

Walking on the road to Zion... yeah, that's what we're doing. Someone commented on the woman's voice in the YouTube comments and I think they are haunting and pull the song together beautifully.

There ya go my dears... possibly my last blog in this place.

Love,
Cathrine

Still Real

2010-01-06T08:21:00.002+11:00

I read this article on the SMH website about how listening to music with positive lyrics makes you a nicer/more helpful/considerate person. *laughs* I have known that for ages. It's why I stopped listening to Marilyn Manson, Slipknot, Tool, etc. I got rid of my 'angry/hate' music because it was affecting me too much. A year after I gave up the last remnants of that music, George released their album Unity (2003). It blew me away with it's hopeful message. It contained within it all my deepest longings for beauty, goodness, honesty, truth, nature and love. I listened to it over and over and felt my heart and thoughts change dramatically.

George - Still Real

I still really admire Katie Noonan and her desire to make this kind of music. In a world that is so hurt and hating, she is so different. She hasn't lost her ability to see life's goodness either after so many years of being in the industry or being now married with two young sons. Marriage and children can sometimes distract you from these higher ideals as you get caught up in the busy-ness of life... but I believe she still holds firmly to those ideals. Plus she likes jazz... and the Beatles... haha I think she's great. When I was 18 and listening to this music, she helped me hold firmly onto goodness and believe that was still worth fighting for.

When I listen to music, I often can't help but sing along. The lyrics are powerful, so I thought I'd post them... :)

I wonder how long I can sustain this mystery
I wonder how we thought we'd get here without strife
I try to recall the beauty
that brought us here
And I cling to that, I cling to that, I cling to that for my life

They say they understand the turmoil that unsettles you
And I say you just fulfill your end of the deal
and I'll fulfill mine
Once we reveal ourselves we're so quick, so quick to analyse
I just want you to be free and enjoy this ride

So go on I'll tell you it's alright
Go on, please tell me you're fine
Don't ever let them get you down
'cause everything that really, really matters
is still real

I'd love to see you shine with every possible radiance
And ignore any thoughts that weren't planted by good
And let intention motivate and stimulate, that is all
And let the cloud that hangs above drift off into the sunset
night

So go on I'll tell you it's alright
Go on, please tell me you're fine
Don't ever let them get you down
'cause everything that really, really matters
is still real

Love,
Cathrine

I Know You Are, But What Am I?

2010-01-05T21:03:00.007+11:00

I'm home again. The Philippines was incredible. I met my mum's family for the first time. I met my uncles... one of them in particular is really into music. He sang in choirs from primary school right through to university and he bought me three CDs of a Filipino singer he likes. Her name is Regine Velasquez. :) I looked at him and felt a sort of kinship that I did not expect to experience. This is what it is to have family! He really took care of mum and I too, taking us out almost every day. He took us to dinner and bought us ice creams. We went for walks at night around the local parks - a whole truck load of us (we often travelled in groups of 10+ people). He took mum and I to the night markets and to their huge malls (SM! - Super Mall)!

I also met loads of cousins and great aunts and uncles (I have around 24). We sang karaoke at every party and danced to the same pop songs until I was nearly destroyed by them - Nobody But You, I Got A Feeling, Poker Face, etc. It was fun, but crazy! I spent so much time around people that I nearly lost myself. I became so much more outgoing and brave. I really didn't get as much time as I'd hoped to spend in bible reading and prayer. I was almost never alone!

I came home and have found myself stronger for the time spent away. I feel more confident in my decisions. Is it because I know better who I am? :) I also now have a deeper understanding of where my mum comes from and why she thinks and acts the way she does. I saw lots of things in her that I admire and love about her. She's naturally generous and is able to at times say "this is what God has done for me" without self-consciousness. It surprises me, when her faith shows it's face. It suprises me when mum lets go of her fear of spending money and sees how she is able to help and do good and does it cheerfully.

And I came home to Tom. Two weeks away may seem like a short amount of time in the grand scheme of things but it's funny what time can do. Not having him there showed me even more how much I love him being a part of my life. I value so much what we have. Since my return I've had so much fun with him, sharing our excitement and passion for life/art/God. I am filled to the brim. I feel like I'm home in so many senses of the word. I feel very lucky. :)

So I spent some time this afternoon buying music... I got a $20 iTunes gift card in my bible study secret santa and I bought this song. It's an instrumental piece I found a long time ago and had forgotten about. I quite like the video made to go with it.

Mogwai - I Know You Are, But What Am I?

I'm also planning to pack up and move. I asked Tom for a subdomain from his shupface website and I have hopes that it'll be up in a week or two. It'll cover more topics than music including - nature, art and poetry also. :)

See you 'round,

Cathrine

Last Night in Sydney for 09

2009-12-20T21:29:00.003+11:00

Well, my lovelies... what a year it has been. This is my last night in Sydney, I fly out tomorrow for the Philippines and will return early January. I have to say this has blossomed into such a beautiful year. I can look back in gladness to the growth that I've experienced as a teacher at my workplace and in myself spiritually and generally. I left work on Friday with such warmth and love from my boss, the parents, and my wonderful children. I miss them already because I know it'll be three weeks till I see them again and some of them are going to school and won't be coming back! Luckily I still have time with my shadow before I have to leave next year for full time study. I'm carrying the look she gave me as I left Friday evening in my heart... the "quick, one last hug because you're going and ahhh, don't leave without a hug" look. She makes my heart ache, I love her a lot. And one of my boys on Thursday said to me a hastily phrased, "thank you for being with me all those days!" when giving me a hug before I went home. So precious! He's taken to randomly saying, "I love you Cathrine", which is just gorgeous. I love how unconscious children are in the giving and taking of love.

And Tom. :) I'm continually surprised by him. There is just so much love here, it's wonderful. He has encouraged and strengthened me to grow in ways I never would have without him. I am lifted up. I'm really satisfied with where life is heading. I have been longing for a firm foundation in God to stand on for years and I feel it forming for the first time. It's beyond exciting. I love the support I get from my new church, the community and the love I get from Tom. Having the independance to explore my relationship with God with what I already know and without the burdens of not being good 'enough' or doing 'enough' has been really helpful.

I am so proud of myself for sticking this year out. It was so hard at work at times but the satisfaction I now feel for making it and even doing a good job at times makes it worthwhile. And the growth I see in the children and the relationships I've been able to form with parents for the support of their children. My job is so rewarding... for all it takes out, it gives back so beautifully and in ways I could never receive any other way. You can't buy the love of these children, the laughter and good times. :) I think they know I heart them.

I'm worried about this trip though. So worried I can't think clearly. Apparently worry and stress will do that to you. Reflecting on all that I have done and can do is helpful though. Maybe that's why the psalms are full of that... when times are hard, remind yourself of God's amazing power by reflecting on all that he has done for his people. I'm not going to trust in my own strength to get through this, because that's only good for so much... and I'm going to need a lot more to deal with some of the family dramas that I forsee happening. I'm going to need some more help so as I pack, I'm going to pack while listening to hymns and trusting/ reflecting on God's ability to take care of me and my family. How many times did God's people forget and try to do things on their own strength? It's a hard lesson to learn...

Tom and I went to a Nine Lessons and Carols service at church tonight, quite an Anglican service format but it wasn't so traditional. One hymn that I loved, I want to share now. I couldn't find an amazing, polished copy of it on YouTube but this might do... it's simple and kinda neat for that.

W.Y. Fullerton (1857-1932) I Cannot Tell

Love,
Cathrine

Jolene

2009-12-07T20:42:00.004+11:00

Il etais un fois...

There was once a time when people looked at me at work and asked "how do you get so much done?" Now I feel like I'm dragging my heels. I'm so ready for a holiday. I've taken to writing myself to do lists, so I can use that sense of satisfaction of crossing it off the list as a motivator to get things done. And so far it's helping. :P

I think I'm going to start counting the days till I leave. I work four days a week and there is only 7 more working days till I'm finished for the year. I think I can manage that. :P

This year has been so full on. To illustrate perhaps why this has been such a full on year... I am the only teacher from my room to have been there at the start of the year. It's a normal thing in child care, with the notoriously high staff turn over rate but gah! I wish it were otherwise. Things would settle down and then another thing would distrupt the room. I'm glad I stuck it out. We've had some crazy times but by and large, I've enjoyed working at my centre.

An example of an awesome moment:
This morning our stick insect shed it's skin and one of the children saw this and told me a stick insect was eating another stick insect! I freaked out but when I saw what she meant, I was excited rather than scared. It looked as if it was eating another insect because it was eating it's old skin. I didn't know they did that... that is, ate their old skin. :)

Ah dear...

This is a song I think I should buy, I think it's grand.

Ray LaMontagne - Jolene

Love,
Cathrine

Home

2009-12-06T21:23:00.006+11:00

I had such a wonderful weekend.

Saturday was spent visiting an art gallery with Tom and his dad in Marrickville. We stopped in on a local market on the way back and Tom got me an early Christmas present - a beautiful red top with a boab tree on it. <3 Then came back for lunch, read more Harry Potter and a rode home to my place in the afternoon.

This morning I rode to Tom's place and went to morning church, which was a very nice service with loads of kids. Then we had lunch and I read more of my Harry Potter book with Tomtom and we listened to a podcast sermon by John Piper. I'm very excited about these sermons on demand... :D And then had dinner later with Tom's family - an early Christmas dinner because his brother is going overseas in a week or so. :) Tom and I got to decorate the gingerbread biscuits with icing beforehand... His mum cooked up an amazing dinner, I'm stuffed full. :D

And this song. :D I heart it. It has such wonderful energy.
I love you Tom. <3

Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros - Home

Her:
Alabama, Arkansas,
I do love my ma and pa,
Not that way that I do love you.

Him:
Holy, moley, me, oh my,
You're the apple of my eye,
Girl I've never loved one like you.

Her:
Man oh man you're my best friend,
I scream it to the nothingness,
There ain't nothing that I need.

Him:
Well, hot and heavy, pumpkin pie,
Chocolate candy, Jesus Christ,
Ain't nothing please me more than you.

Both:
Ahh Home. Let me go home.
Home is wherever I'm with you.
Ahh Home. Let me go ho-oh-ome.
Home is wherever I'm with you.

La, la, la, la, take me home.
Mother, I'm coming home.

Him:
I'll follow you into the park,
Through the jungle through the dark,
Girl I never loved one like you.

Her:
Moats and boats and waterfalls,
Alley-ways and pay phone calls,
I've been everywhere with you.

Him:
That's true.
Laugh until we think we'll die,
Left with(?) on a summer night,
Never could be sweeter than with you.

Her:
And in the streets you run afree,
Like it's only you and me,
Geeze, you're something to see.

Both:
Ahh Home. Let me go home.
Home is wherever I'm with you.
Ahh Home. Let me go ho-oh-ome.
Home is wherever I'm with you.

La, la, la, la, take me home.
Daddy, I'm coming home.

(talking)
Him: Jade
Her: Alexander
Him: Do you remember that day you fell outta my window?
Her: I sure do, you came jumping out after me.
Him: Well, you fell on the concrete, nearly broke your ass, you were bleeding all over the place and I rushed you out to the hospital, you remember that?
Her: Yes I do.
Him: Well there's something I never told you about that night.
Her: What didn't you tell me?
Him: While you were sitting in the backseat smoking a cigarette you thought was gonna be your last, I was falling deep, deeply in love with you, and I never told you til just now.

Both:
Ahh Home. Let me go home.
Home is wherever I'm with you.
Ahh Home. Let me go ho-oh-ome.
Home is where I'm alone with you.

Him:
Home. Let me come home.
Home is wherever I'm with you.

Her:
Ahh home. Yes I am ho-oh-ome.
Home is when I'm alone with you.

Her:
Alabama, Arkansas,
I do love my ma and pa...
Moats and boats and waterfalls,
Alley-ways and pay phone calls...

Both:
Ahh Home. Let me go home.
Home is wherever I'm with you.
Ahh Home. Let me go ho-oh-ome.
Home is where I'm alone with you...

Love,
Cathrine

December

2009-12-02T14:22:00.002+11:00

It's December already. In a little over 2 weeks I'll be heading to the Philippines and work will be finished (for me) for the year. I did a little looking back over my blog just then and I think I have to say this has been a full on year, but things are settling into happier waters. Some of the changes?

a. new church
b. new home
c. dating tom
d. no longer working with br ned
e. no longer involved with fifi
f. mum bought me a car
g. paid driving lessons

It's been really hard at times to keep it all together. I wonder what next year will be like... could it be that things will calm down? I would love for things to settle into a routine of church, bible study, work and Tom and seeing friends in my spare time.

Music continues to be most old stuff rehashed. New stuff is harder to come by these days. I have a driving lesson this afternoon and so I better dash..

Meow,
Cathrine

Take My Life

2009-11-28T15:03:00.003+11:00

I'm humbled by the genuineness of love shown by people in this world. I went to a wedding this morning and was deeply impressed by the way the couple demonstrated their love for each other. I'm confronted by their maturity as well... who am I to talk of marriage? I'm still a child. I see the kindness and love shown by the bride's friends and I wonder who will speak for me on my wedding day. I am a little forgetful of my friends, though I have awesome friends, I don't make enough time for them. I forget what I'm missing out on too in neglecting them. Life is enriched with friends and family.

I have been really enjoying reading the bible on my way to work. I'm reading through 2 Chronicles at the moment and it's really instructive looking at the lives of so many past kings of Israel/Judea in such a condensed way. The distinction is so clear, follow God and you will prosper and live, serve other Gods and it's over. You wonder how can they possibly keep making the same mistakes? I wonder until I look at my own life. It's so easy to forget God's proper place and like friends, neglect him. In the end, I have to stand before God and account for all that I've done.

I like Saturdays. I like taking time out and being still before God. It seems as soon as I am still, I am comforted by God and know his presence. And strength returns to me to help me continue in the face of some real challenges that I'm facing... and joy fills my heart as I recognise God moving in my life. I have taken less to listening to music and more to allowing my mind to rest in the love and knowledge of God. I enjoy too listening to hymns and other Christian music, though most of what I own are hymns. :) I'm glad it's Sunday tomorrow... it's nice to look forward to church.

This is one hymn that I love.

Chris Tomlin - Take My Life

I don't know how this blog will look in the upcoming months. I'm not really inspired to write every day and share music in the same way. I feel as if I already have enough on my plate. *laughs* We'll see, I guess.

Love,
Cathrine

Grand Return - Down On Love

2009-11-23T20:08:00.004+11:00

It would be nice to learn to dance. I went out Friday night with Tom to his friend's farewell and was danced around the place by his friend's dad. It was quite embarrassing but in a fun way. I wish I could fly around the floor and dance like he and his wife does. Looks like a lot of fun.

Driving lessons are going well. I'm excited. I'm excited in general about living so close to Tom but the idea of driving and being at his place in 2 minutes drives me crazy. I'm all kinds of happy to be able to pop by have a swim and cook dinner with him... and for me to come home from work and him be there to cook up a storm with him again. haha My man gets me trying new things. He has awesome taste in music and consequently has me dancing along to life to his music. Cooking, dancing, riding, singing, praying together... Gush! I have been away from the internet for a while and I have so much love stored up that I can't help but overflow with it all.

I'm excited about my birthday on Wednesday. We're going to the Vanguard for some French cabaret... Edith Piaf tribute style. So much love. Going with Tom, Eddy and Sara and dinnering with these above awesome people as well as Aisha and Tharani and maybe Jason. My people. <3

I am in a good place.

I have travel on my mind, the end of the year is fast approaching and then I'll be heading off to the Philippines. I recently just got back from Melbourne with Aisha and it was really nice to be somewhere else for a while and the only thing to think about was how shall I enjoy myself today? *grins* I learnt so much about being girly and taking care of myself... I have come back to Sydney with a healthier 'beauty regime' and a greater desire to wear dresses and skirts. I can not get over the Friday night we spent at a club (my first time) in which I got so much male attention. If ever I wanted to play the "I'm average, nothing special" card, I think I'll have this memory to remind me that I'm not average at all. I don't know what I'll do with that knowledge... will it give me more self confidence? Will it make me less self conscious? Maybe in time. I really enjoyed spending time with Aisha over 5 consecutive days. She's such an awesome girl. :)

Anyway... I'm currently enjoying Bob Dylan (All Along The Watch Tower, I Shall Be Released) and Simon and Garfunkel. I feel quite old school. It feels so good to be blogging again. I find it a funny thing. When I talk to certain people I find it really easy to focus on all the good things going on, and with others I find it impossible to not talk about all the bad. Blogging puts me in a headspace where I'm comfortable and so tonight I'm glad and reminded of all the awesome things I have. Eg, Church last night was awesome... :) and having a record player in my living room and playing Charlie Parker and Bud Powell... that's awesome as well. haha Currently I'm listening to Sarah Blasko's "Down On Love". It's magic.

Sarah Blasko - Down On Love

Love,
Cathrine

PS> Thanks Jason for the use of your modem. :)

Strawberry Swing

2009-10-23T20:04:00.003+11:00

It's my last night here in Roseville. Tomorrow I move! I have been packing steadily all day and I still have some odds and ends to sort out. I won't have the internet for a while, until it's set up in my new place which could be a week from now or two weeks depending on how busy they are. So I will be away from my blog a little.

I'm going to make my moving house mix cd tonight, ready for my new place. :) But I'll leave you with this song - not because I like Coldplay or even this song as such, but because the video clip is incredible! :) But gah, I can't embed it... so click the link and watch for yourself. :)

Coldplay - Strawberry Swing

Later guys,

Cathrine

Sparrow

2009-10-22T22:49:00.002+11:00

I've had this song in my head for the last few days. I'm not enitrely sure why it echoes within me... I looked up the lyrics just then and at the end, where it says the Earth will write the eulogy, I heard "the Lord". Anyway. It's typical S&G, poetry to music.

Simon and Garfunkel - Sparrow

Who will love a little Sparrow?
Who's traveled far and cries for rest?
"Not I," said the Oak Tree,
"I won't share my branches with
no sparrow's nest,
And my blanket of leaves won't warm
her cold breast."

Who will love a little Sparrow
And who will speak a kindly word?
"Not I," said the Swan,
"The entire idea is utterly absurd,
I'd be laughed at and scorned if the
other Swans heard."

Who will take pity in his heart,
And who will feed a starving sparrow?
"Not I," said the Golden Wheat,
"I would if I could but I cannot I know,
I need all my grain to prosper and grow."

Who will love a little Sparrow?
Will no one write her eulogy?
"I will," said the Earth,
"For all I've created returns unto me,
From dust were ye made and dust ye shall be."

So I have tomorrow off to rest. I'm coming down with the flu. I move house on Saturday and I really don't want to be too sick to do that. I'm excited to have this change finally come about after so much looking and waiting.

Later,

Cathrine

Little Lion Man

2009-10-19T18:29:00.001+11:00

Kat asked if I'd heard this song... and thanks to Tom's younger brother, I have. haha It's cool. I like it.

Mumford and Sons - Little Lion Man

:)

Cathrine

Blogotheque

2009-10-17T23:44:00.002+11:00

French AND awesome music. I couldn't be more excited! :) Check out Bon Iver on blogotheque. :)

The whole thing is so intimate. Plus I love reading French aloud. It's such a beautiful language. :)

Looove,

Cathrine

Nantes

2009-10-17T23:26:00.002+11:00

I am in love. Love, love, love Beirut! I love this video clip and song so much. The instruments.... I'm speechless, the man's drums are bins. Look at the graffiti art? Swooon! So love this guy's voice, it's precise and the right amount of crazy/quirky. haha So I'm glad eMusic has this album for download because of love. :)

Beirut - Nantes

Night,

Cathrine

Hawaiian Robots

2009-10-17T14:30:00.005+11:00

It's worth it. I remember the goodness. I remember the peace. I am walking through fire right now, or so it feels. Why do I make this into such a big thing? It seems like no one else is mentioning it's significance, but I'm no longer working with Br Ned and no longer attending St John's. C'est tout fini. I know there is life beyond this, Christian life beyond Br Ned, but I feel subdued and worried. Should I? I know they all would say, yes and very much so. Ah dear. I got a painful email Thursday and reflecting on it makes me glad to be moving on, but it doesn't take away the pain that goes with losing something that was once precious.

Anyway, instead of going out with Aisha as planned today, I'm home. It's okay... I'm going to pack for my move next weekend and maybe use this beautiful weather for laundry. I 'found' the bonus disk on Something For Kate's Desert Lights. I like it. It has Born To Run on it as well as this song:

Something For Kate - Hawaiian Robots

Paul's music is often the food my aching heart needs. But "I'm better of as a robot"? lol Who knows. I like the quirkiness... and the veracity. Oh man, I get tired of being so emotional sometimes. I would be so much happier if this was an easier, more natural transition.

Laters y'all.

Cathrine

Untitled

2009-10-15T21:25:00.003+11:00

Things I love:

1) The night air
2) The warmth of my ugg boots
3) Tom
4) The way music lifts my spirits
5) The reminders I get to rely on God

Life doesn't always go to plan. I'm going to have to learn to cope with that better, since there are other people in the world and life doesn't revolve around me. I saw such a beautiful rainbow while driving this evening. My driving instructor is awesome, he's willing to follow me to Epping when I move. How very very lucky. So counting my blessings:

1) I work within an awesome centre, with awesome children and staff
2) My kids are obsessed with insects and I have to take a lot of the pleasure/blame in that. One of the boys found a baby stick insect yesterday. Can you believe??
3) Tom
4) I have plans to go to Melbourne in November with my best friend
5) I'm going to the Philippines at the end of the year with mum
6) I'll be moving to Epping to be close to Tom and my new church
7) I'm feeling at home in my new church
8) I have an awesome driving instructor and I'll be getting my license soon?
9) I have a beautiful (almost) new car that mum bought me to drive once I do
10) I am a child of God despite my sinful nature

Post-chat with Aisha, I can add:

1) I'm moving to Epping in 9 days
2) I'm going to ask for house plants as house warming gifts. :)
3) I'm going parasailing with Aisha on Saturday!
4) I get to see Tom a lot this week (haha, you guys are a unit! - reminding me how awesome each of you are by complimenting the other)
5) Aisha

Lucky me. :)

Cathrine

PS: Does this list-style of writing make me a little like Cash, Tom? <3

Pinstripe

2009-10-15T20:09:00.005+11:00

I forget. I forget. I'm tired. I don't want to cry or give up. I want to be better. I want to run towards being better, rather than hide from being not good enough. I feel like Something For Kate's music...

Something For Kate - Pinstripe

There is no need to throw your arms around
And there is no need to ask unless there is some doubt
If you are comfortable with two feet on the ground
Then you don't need wings now, you don't need wings now

Have you set down your course or are you out of control my dear
Or are you accidentally part of some involuntary movement, here
We thought we knew it so well we could do it with our arms tied behind our backs and our eyes shut tight
I thought i knew it so well i could stop, so i stopped, and i can't, can't start again

Stand under the hole in your roof
and let the rain come in and fall down on your head
'cause it's a simple joy, you can bring upon yourself
'cause it's a simple something new, something else

Trees stand in a perfect line, trees stand at attention
Not much time has passed, but already she likes concrete better than grass, and i don't think we'll last

So i, stare up at the sky
and it hurts my eyes
Maybe i'll go blind
Maybe all i'll see is, all i'll see is sunshine,
sunshine, sunshine

I'm not trying to sound, i'm just trying to sound
I don't want to sound like this,
sound like this, sound like this

You're the last day of April every year
ahh, your grey, feeling for something, anything you can't have
oversight, ode you the road, pulled by a current, tossed over in the wind
you focus your sights and try,

Try to stare up at the sky
Does it hurt your eyes?
Maybe you'll go blind
Or maybe all you'll see is, all you'll see is, sunshine, sunshine
Walk in a straight line
Yu waste energy in the daytime
and i know exactly what i'm doing, doing, sometimes

<3

Cathrine

Midnight Special

2009-10-14T07:22:00.004+11:00

I went out Saturday night to Castle Hill RSL and it's a nice place but still had your typical guy on the piano singing bad covers. I was meh about it until he played this song. It makes me want to dance. lol I love the introduction.

Creedence Clearwater Revival - Midnight Special

^___^

Cathrine

Mess Around / I Got A Woman

2009-10-12T20:44:00.004+11:00

So so... I watched half of Ray yesterday with Tom. I nearly died when they had Art Tatum playing in the background of one of the scenes. I mean.... COME ON! Casually listening to Art like that? I would have loved to have been able to listen to his music live. Jazzzzzzzz.......

I love both of these tracks from the movie. :)

Ray Charles - Mess Around

Ray Charles - I Got A Woman

This music makes me want to get up and dance. :D

Loveeeee

Cathrine

The Rain Song

2009-10-11T22:13:00.005+11:00

It was raining this morning and I found this song fitted perfectly with the weather. Led Zeppelin love.

Led Zeppelin - The Rain Song

Love,

Cathrine

The Middle East

2009-10-10T13:37:00.006+11:00

I'm so glad to be alive right now. The weather is beautiful outside and I just washed my car in the sunshine. I went out last night with Tom to see The Middle East at Manning Bar and slept over afterwards. In the morning I got to wake him up, have breakfast with him and fail at getting the last word in the crossword. I love those morning times with him. I'll gush. I could spend every morning content just eating cereal next to him while he does the crossword and I read the paper. I like those little jolts you get when you look up and are reminded he's there, like the rise and fall of a rollercoaster that my emotions ride. You can't always be rushing down-hill in love... but I love the little dips during the day when it all comes back to you in a rush that you are so very lucky.

Tom and I saw The Middle East. He has a mate in the band. They have two tracks that you can listen to on their myspace. They were so enchanting live. I felt enveloped in sound and was brought to tears by the perfection of one song in particular. The mixture of voices harmonised in such a way that they had this yearning kind of quality. I couldn't pin it down, it pulled at me and yet it was exactly where it should be. Their music too was delicate and yet firmly held together. I sensed strong musicianship driving their music, layers of sounds seemed carefully considered for the impact they had on the overall tone colour.

Haha.. I am still wrapped in my bliss-state. When they played 'Blood', the crowd seemed to also echo back the main melody and as it ramped up it was powerful to be standing in the middle of it. I love music that moves me. I bought their EP afterwards. I'd be very keen to buy an album when they put one out.

:)

I'm also excited to buy Nouvelle Vague's new album. Once I buy it, I'll write about it too you can bet on that.

<3

Cathrine

I Heart You Online

2009-10-07T21:58:00.002+11:00

The interwebs provides us with so much awesome. This is maybe the new breed of music it inspires - musicians that play ukelele and sing cute lyrics about the internet. If this is all there is, please kill me now, but I think maybe small doses of this won't be lethal...

Also, it's cute factor was enough to tip the scales in my decision to finally add Thomas in my Facebook profile status. So I'm now publically in a relationship with my man. It's sad but fantastic.

Rocky and Balls - I Heart You Online

<3

Cathrine

Dancing In The Dark

2009-10-07T21:38:00.003+11:00

The first time I heard this cover, I did not like it. I thought Tegan and Sara were lame. :P So now, after almost 7 months of dating Tom... I think I'm coming around. We listen to so much of each other's music and you know, I think I like their cover of Springsteen's Dancing In The Dark. I didn't realise it was a Springsteen song until today though. And only this afternoon I was listening to Born To Run (just before I got to Tom's place!). It seems this day was brought to you by Sprinsteen. <3

Tegan and Sara - Dancing in the Dark

So you know Tom, we could totally do this as a duet. :D I remember this song from when I was growing up, listening to 2WS. It makes me happy. :D

<3

Cathrine

Baby Can I Hold You

2009-10-07T00:24:00.001+11:00

She has a beautiful voice.

Tracy Chapman - Baby Can I Hold You

Sorry
Is all that you cant say
Years gone by and still
Words dont come easily
Like sorry like sorry

Forgive me
Is all that you cant say
Years gone by and still
Words dont come easily
Like forgive me forgive me

But you can say baby
Baby can I hold you tonight
Maybe if I told you the right words
At the right time youd be mine

I love you
Is all that you cant say
Years gone by and still
Words dont come easily
Like I love you I love you

<3

Cathrine

I Go To Sleep

2009-10-04T11:41:00.004+11:00

Some days the world is calm and quiet. Today is such a day. I woke up at 11am because of daylight savings putting our clocks forward an hour. 10am would have been really late for me, but 11am? Madness. The roads outside are quiet because it's a long weekend. I remember the long weekend and Christmas time in the city... it was so eerie to be able to walk across Parramatta Road without having to wait for the green man during the middle of the day and normal peek hour times.

I'm going to relax today... Hope everyone's enjoying their long weekend.

Sia - I Go To Sleep

When I look up from my pillow
I dream you are there with me
Though you are far away
I know you'll always be near to me

I go to sleep
And imagine that you're there with me
I go to sleep
And imagine that you're there with me

I look around me
And feel you are ever so close to me
Each tear that flows from my eye
Brings back memories of you to me

I go to sleep
And imagine that you're there with me
I go to sleep
And imagine that you're there with me

I was wrong, I will cry
I will love you till the day I die
You were all, you alone and no one else
You were meant for me

When morning comes again
I have the loneliness you left me
Each day drags by
Until finally my time descends on me

I go to sleep
And imagine that you're there with me
I go to sleep
And imagine that you're there with me

Later,

Cathrine

Genius Next Door

2009-10-03T19:35:00.002+10:00

So I was listening to this song while walking to my new place and it's appropriately titled. Tom and I were joking in the morning about how he'd be invited to Mensa for being a genius... and when I move, I'll be living a lot closer to him. Not quite next door, but a 5 min drive away.

It's funny. This track is off her new album "Far" but I've known the song for ages. I had a demo version of it back when I kept non-purchased music on my computer. I like the song very much. Enjoy...

Regina Spektor - Genius Next Door

Some said the local lake had been enchanted
Others said it must have been the weather
The neighbours were trying to keep it quiet
But I swear that I could hear the laughter
So they jokingly nicknamed it the porridge
'Cause overnight that lake had turned as thick as butter
But the local kids would still go swimming
Drinking
Saying that to them it doesn't matter

If you just hold in your breath
'Til you come back up in full
Hold in your breath
'Til you thought it through
You fool

The genius next door was busing tables
Wiping clean the ketchup bottle labels
Getting high and mumbling German fables
Didn't care as long as he was able
To strip his clothes off by the dumpsters
At night while everyone was sleeping
And wade midway into that porridge
Just him and the secret he was keeping

If you just hold in your breath
'Til you come back up in full
Hold in your breath
'Til you thought it through
You foolish child

Oh
Oh

In the morning, the film crews start arriving
With donuts, coffee, and reporters
The kids were waking up hungover
The neighbours were starting up their cars
The garbage men were emptying the dumpsters
Atheists were praying full of sarcasm
And the genius next door was sleeping
Dreaming that the antidote is orgasm

If you just hold in your breath
'Til you come back up in full
Hold in your breath
'Til you thought it through
You foolish child

Oh
Oh

Night,

Cathrine

Ordinary People / Scattered

2009-10-03T14:07:00.003+10:00

Who am I? Deep breath in. I used to be idealistic. I used to revel in nature and believe in the almighty power of beauty and truth. For a season, I lived deeply in this belief. Who was I then? Can I recapture her? I liked her a lot. She had wings on her feet and had a tiny smile for whatever came her way. I was once called a butterfly by a lover, because I wouldn't sit still... I kept chasing after this idea of beauty and seeking some sort of perfect communion with it all. He didn't see what I saw, what I thought my next boyfriend saw. In high school you can be idealistic but gradually life beats it out of you.

Who am I now? Broken down, battered. I watch old friends slowly meet the same fate as me. We were young and hopeful. We loved or hoped for love and thought it would be beautiful, meaningful, special. We made plans for our careers and dreamed of changing the world. We thought our little fears would slowly slip away as we grew up into 'adults' and somehow we'd find ourselves at that place where everything is in place and we were happy. Life is untidy though. Plans don't work out. People let you down. Love isn't the big solution you imagined it would be and you see really you're just faced with hard work and difficult decisions and those little fears grow instead of shrink with time.

Still. You don't really lose the hope that things will be good, if only you just hold on and maybe turn a few corners. When I get that new job, new house, new friends, new relationship... things will be better then. What made me think life was beautiful and golden all those years back? How do you get back to that point?

I want to create something beautiful to somehow recreate that which I am longing for. But I fail too often and get discouraged. I read something at work yesterday about the power of being optimistic... something along the lines of what I talked about in my previous post. You know, self-belief makes positive change so much easier - even possible. I don't believe in the power of goodness, beauty, love, and truth to overcome as much anymore. I'm occupied with the hard work of living. Loving is such a difficult thing to add to the already difficult job ahead, but it's the only way to that which I most desire.

I'm filled with bitter laughter. Is this really where I am? Br Ned said I was in a cocoon once. An interesting twist on the butterfly metaphor. He said I wasn't really living as a Christian. He said that when you see a true Christian they seem like a butterfly; the glimpse you have of them delights the eye and lifts your spirits. I lived in this perpetually 'not good enough' environment, where the standard expected was very high. I can't say I completely accepted this as my own because compared to when I was on my own, I clung onto hope and beauty and searched for meaning in it all a lot more. Now I have meaning in abundance, through God, but I've just lost the joy for it all. Where once I strived for purpose, I run from the expectations placed on me. I know I shouldn't run... but this new meaning is both a heavy burden and a joy. Plus I was told it was a heavy burden because I hadn't fully surrendered myself. It's a hard thing to face. Perhaps other people can do this with more success than me... but I guess I didn't find my way. I still believe in God but the passion I had once for more mundane things in the past makes pale my current devotion to God. It shouldn't be that way.

So now as I grow older and can see that I can't follow other's paths but have to make my own decisions of where to go and what to believe/embrace if I'm going to live with them long-term. I once found my completion in God. I think I can get back there. I want to gather up the good and beautiful things to myself again and push out the jaded, bitter, fearfulness that I have inside me. There are two songs which I am listening to at the moment that I love. One is by John Legend - Ordinary People and the other is by a friend (really, friend of a friend).

John Legend - Ordinary People

Lissa - Scattered

I know I'm not supposed to say so much. It's one of my failings - putting so much out there. It makes people uncomfortable... but this is where my thoughts reside. I need to write these things out sometimes. I've done this for years online. I'm far from perfect and don't always think or believe the right things... but what can you do? To pretend to be someone else would be worse.

So I'm at home with my music and a heater and maybe I'll start organising things for the move in a couple of weeks. I'm going to have a lot of space in my new place. I wonder what I'll make my place look like. Tom and I have watched a few movies lately that have given me ideas and I watched (500) Days of Summer with Kat and I loved her apartment. I want to capture something of the magic of the Fool's room in the tower. I want it to be more than a home, but a sanctuary and reflection of who I am.

Later,

Cathrine

Curl

2009-10-01T20:46:00.003+10:00

I realised tonight that I haven't used my eMusic credits yet. I just downloaded a couple of Darren Hanlon tracks so now I'm getting some Sneaker Pimps. I was so into them in high school. They were the perfect kind of upbeat dreariness, dark vs light, melancholy poet. :P

Sneaker Pimps - Curl

Anyway. Life is still kicking along. Signed the lease for my new place yesterday and I'm going to open the place up on Saturday and do a full inspection. I'll give my report in to the real estate agent afterwards on the condition of the place. I won't be moving in till later in October though. Driving lessons are going awesomely well. :) My instructor is very, very good at his job. He makes me, the most self-depreciating person, feel as if she's capable and will one day be an awesome driver. I'm not an awesome anything! But with this guy, I am on my way to being an awesome driver. It's exciting. It makes me wonder what else I could be, you know? Self-belief accounts for a lot, so it seems.

It was my boy's birthday on Monday but I got to see him yesterday. We watched Fight Club and it blew my mind. Such an incredible movie... It was nothing of what I was expecting. I expected mindless violence but it was a mind-trip. I like movies that make you see your world differently because of it. The movie confronts your reason for living. It looks at consumerism and the aimless wandering people get into because the marketing spin fed to them is unrealistic and mostly unattainable. It creates disillusionment, resentment, bitterness and defeatism. I think there is some validity to the issues raised in the movie but I drew the line somewhere further back and the movie went too far. It turned finding meaning in life into chasing death. In the end you need something to live for, something to belief in and rely upon. The movie showed me the unreliablity of people though. I think I walk around with a subconscious fear of abandonment and it takes the smallest things to bring it out. I wonder a lot of the time what it'd be like to live without that fear. I envy those who have families where people care for each other unconditionally. Anyway. So it was an awesome movie and I recommend it highly. I'm just one crazy girl though... so the stuff I took away from it are definately affected by my crazy. :P

I'm trying to see life as something I control... haha like driving a car. I know God has created the roads and the rules, but I still have to steer and change gears and do all the hard work. I sometimes forget that I'm responsible for all that and then I wonder why I crash. Seeing life with a sense of ability and control is quite empowering as well as scary, but I'm less scared and more excited. I want to know where life will take me and if I have some say in it, it might actually go the places where I want it to.

My two cents on driving and life. :P

Cathrine

One Dove

2009-09-30T00:42:00.002+10:00

This song reminds me of times listening to music with Tom in the wee hours of the night/morning. Such a good time of day to listen to Antony...

Antony and the Johnsons - One Dove

<3 you

Cathrine

Sea Of Love

2009-09-29T20:11:00.002+10:00

Walking home, listening to this song and smiling. It's a tender little thing. Sad and sweet.

Cat Power - Sea of Love

Life can be so disappointing at times, I keep looking for the grey clouds rather than the silver lining. But it's not exactly the best habit in the world. I'm learning to see the good and not just the bad in where I am. I'm also seeing the need to be kinder to myself and others, though that's a really hard thing to do.

Later,

Cathrine

Happy Birthday

2009-09-28T19:46:00.003+10:00

So today is my baby's birthday. Happy Birthday Tom! :)

The Beatles - Birthday

<3

Cathrine

La

2009-09-24T20:35:00.002+10:00

I had a nice day at work. Got lots of work done and I got to really appreciate working with my coworkers and kids a many points during the day. I love that we all just pulled together and worked so well as a team to get the centre clean after the massive dust storm yesterday. And it was a girl's bday a couple of days before and we hadn't had anything come from home - no muffins or whatever to celebrate - so we baked for her with the children and had a nice party at afternoon tea. :) So charming. Getting all the kids together to sing happy birthday and for the birthday girl to sit at the front with a friend is one of our special rituals.

Also, I got some thrilling news! I'm able to take heaps of holidays! I might be going overseas with a friend in addition to going to the Philippines at the end of the year. I can come back to work on Jan 28, I discovered. Oh incredible luck! Oh amazing bliss! I can't even begin to imagine how many dreams will come true if I can travel to England/France at the start of next year. How lucky am I???

And lastly, I had a two hour driving lesson after work today and I learnt so much. Really, lots and lots! I think of myself as a slow learner and someone who needs to practice things a lot before I get them but he kept teaching me things and pushing me and I kept learning more things and adding them in to what I was doing. For serious! This teacher is just that good. So good that he has me thinking that I'm good because I'm a good learner. LOL It's a half truth. I'm teachable and he's an awesome teacher. So I'm very lucky in that regard also.

On the bus I was listening to this song. I hated it when Tom first sent it to me. I said it was too cheerful... but today, this song is perfect! lol :)

Old Man River - La

Night y'all,

Cathrine

I Was Young When I Left Home

2009-09-23T21:18:00.003+10:00

Could you believe that I left this off the list of 'home' songs for my mix? I know it's not upbeat but it's so beautiful and powerful and it carries meaning in that I introduced Tom to it and then later found out it's a Bob Dylan cover.

Antony + Bryce Dessner - I Was Young When I Left Home

I had such a crazy day. I kept estimating how long it would take me to do things so I could try and pack in as many errands as I could before 6pm because I had an asthma training inservice at work. What an appropriate day for it too. Such crazy weather to wake up to! We had a dust storm of epic proportions making everything this garish red/orange colour. It was such fine red dust too, I've seen nothing like it. If you're not from Sydney, check it out here.

Anyway. I ramble. Today I packed in lots of things... most importantly I was able to meet the owners of the property I'm moving into. They're a nice old couple and I think it'll be fine living below them. I move in as of the 1st of October. :) It's so soon... it's like when I got a car, I couldn't believe my luck! Someone pinch me, is this really happening? :) I'm sorry/sad things didn't work out with Kat but I think our friendship will be better for having our separate spaces. So I'm excited.

Got work tomorrow... as always... but keen to go back and see my kids and think about re-arranging the room/furniture and how everything will work together. :)

Night,

Cathrine

>>> And yes, I blog almost every day. I seem to always have something musical to say. :P

I Want You Back

2009-09-22T21:10:00.005+10:00

I called the real estate agent on the bus coming home and they told me I am their first preference and I pretty much have the place, the owners just want to meet me before I sign the papers. I don't see why they'd say no after meeting me so I all but have a new place! I'm so very excited! I was listening to music on the way home and danced to this song in my room...

Jackson 5 - I Want You Back

Now I'm making a mixed CD to play at my new place. New place needs good music to welcome it. :D I told Aisha that I was making a mixed CD with Tom and I impressed her with the new heights that my geekiness reaches. Yes, making a mixed CD to celebrate is naturally the most important thing to do after finding out you've (all but) got a new place to live. :D

New House Mix

The Animals - We've Gotta Get Out Of This Place
The Animals - House of the Rising Sun
Lynyrd Skynyrd - Sweet Home Alabama
Bedouin Soundclash - Gyrasi Went Home
The Lucksmiths - If You Lived Here, You'd Be Home Now
Charles Manson - Home Is Where You're Happy
Simon and Garfunkel - Homeward Bound
Bob Dylan - Shetler from the Storm
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - Home On Ice
Sam Cooke - Bring It On Home To Me
Antony and the Johnsons - I Was Young When I Left Home

I'll work out the sequencing and add a few more songs... but it's looking nice. I'm considering adding Les Miserables - Bring Him Home at the end, though it's completely not the upbeat kind of song I'm looking for. It's so painfully beautiful. Check it out.

Going to sleep now because today took a lot out of me. :)

Cathrine

Perfect Day

2009-09-21T19:33:00.013+10:00

I made a mobile at work today using sticks and string and while tying the sticks together to make arms the children were asking me what I was making. I told them it's going to be a mobile and once it was done and hanging up with their pictures strung on it, one boy asked me "How do you hold it to your ear and say hello?". It took me a while to realise he thought I meant mobile phone but when I did I cracked up laughing. I love kids. :D They're such a product of this generation...

Anyway. Monday was a Monday... I'm exhausted... but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm waiting for the light. I'm sure things will be okay soon. I'm choosing to distance myself from a lot of who I am/was. This is my choice, I keep reminding myself. I'm moving out because things aren't what they should be and it's not working. I'm not who I should be at church and it's impacting those around me. Yet, who I 'should be' isn't me. And isn't going to be me either. I feel unwelcome and I'm wearing that by walking away. I nearly cried on the bus coming home and I don't know why. Am I sad to leave? I guess so, but I'm not happy staying either. I hope I can find happiness where I end up. Or more simply, peace.

I am striking out on my own now. For so long I've been under the wings of someone else - namely a certain Benedictine. Sigh. Who am I without those around me moulding me? Who do I want to be? I only have a semblance of maturity and not the real thing. I don't think as things stand I'm much use to any body, not until I figure out who I am and what I want.

....

This is a pretty average recording of Darren Hanlon covering Fischer-Z's Perfect Day. I really like the song though. I heard it live when I went to The Lucksmiths concert. Darren was opening for them. :)

Darren Hanlon - Perfect Day

Love,

Cathrine

See No Evil

2009-09-20T13:42:00.004+10:00

Paul, Paul Dempsey, I love you. Truly! His gig last night was tight. He played a lot of songs from his new album and I enjoyed the couple of tracks he played from older albums because the crowd just responded so well. We all sang along and we were all so pumped to be there! However the encore performance made it for me. He played Television's "See No Evil". I *heart* that band. Their music is intricate and fun and fast and full-on. I stumbled upon their music years back and fell in love. They're obscure and so there's a sense of pride in knowing their music, in being in on an amazing secret. So yeah, this is them playing that song. Win, baby, win!

Television - See No Evil

Paul rocked it out so hard. A friend of mine (who Tom and I met there) said Paul plays music so you're constantly in a state of tension and release. I agree. Live music is euphoric and my emotions definately like being lifted the way it does.

Gah. So this weekend has been full on and awesome. It's not even over yet. I had a driving lesson today for 1.5 hours. My first professional lesson in a manual car. So much excitement! I really like my instructor, he reminds me of Dr Cox from Scrubs with the wit and none of the scathing humour.

Love,

Cathrine

Psalm 131 / The Wolves (Act I & II)

2009-09-18T22:32:00.006+10:00

I have spent the time on the bus to work reading/praying for so long that it's habit now. Even if things aren't awesome, that habit is a relief. I forget how gentle and good God's word is. I am constantly cut down by my judgemental nature and the people around me. I read this psalm this morning and it's just three verses. I spent some time just considering the first sentence. I'm torn up inside and I'm trying to mend the tears and pride is such a large rip in the fabric of me. I see the love and gentleness in those around me and I am humbled but not brought low enough so as to repent and change. Pride is such a large tear. I want to make real repairs but I fear good intentions won't make good.

Psalm 131

A Song of Ascents. Of David.

1 My heart is not proud, O LORD,
my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters
or things too wonderful for me.

2 But I have stilled and quieted my soul;
like a weaned child with its mother,
like a weaned child is my soul within me.

3 O Israel, put your hope in the LORD
both now and forevermore.

I've recently learnt that I shouldn't say what I think all the time. Especially when those things are hurtful and unhelpful. Apparently lots of people knew this already but I guess I missed that lesson. I used to think people will just have to deal or cope or get over whatever it is, because hey, it's true. But when people do it to me? I'm less than thrilled. It's less than helpful. I was told to first think of how I'd like it if that were said to me before speaking - a good enough standard, I think. It made me think "Do unto others as you would have done unto you."

I wouldn't need this lesson so much if I was loving those around me as God commands. It's something I know I need to do but fear to start because of how much damage I've already done and must therefore undo. I also fear to start because I know I will make mistakes again in the future and go through the whole process again. If it were just God and I, I know He'd forgive me but people are different. All excuses really, excuses for pride to grow and stubborness to feel justifed. I'm sorry y'all. For being insensitive, for not calling you, for not listening, for not caring, for not wanting to know, for walking away, for blaming you for my mistakes...

I like Bon Iver. I hadn't heard this song by him... I like it. Seeing a camp fire in the video clip makes me want to go camping.

Bon Iver - The Wolves (Act I & II)

Night,

Cathrine

James Brown

2009-09-17T22:03:00.002+10:00

So turns out Tom likes James Brown. Nice!

James Brown - Night Train

and I introduced Tom to a Beatles song I heart.

The Beatles - And Your Bird Can Sing

:)

Cathrine

Real Love

2009-09-15T21:58:00.002+10:00

Tom showed me this song yesterday. It makes my heart ache in the perfect way... it fits me and sings back to me my own song. You know those songs that just click? I can't stop listening to it, singing it, feeling it. I sang it at work today at different points (softly, more to myself) while out back with the kids.

I love the little trill in Regina's piano playing. It makes me ache for piano keys. It makes me miss playing so much. It's been years but I miss having a piano in my bedroom and dancing over the keys and making my own music. I miss pounding the keys, and those little trills. I miss rubato.

I once said to myself that I want to control my emotions... and that when I'm upset, I won't turn to music and wallow. I'll sort myself out by using that other side of my brain and not indulging the emotions. You know, use the analytical side of my brain. I guess the problem with that is that while you're in the grip of that... your emotions are not exactly going to let you go.

Regina Spektor - Real Love (John Lennon cover)

Goodnight,

Cathrine

Carbon Monoxide

2009-09-14T19:14:00.002+10:00

Life is hard at the moment, so Regina is keeping me company.

Work today was barable. I enjoyed seeing my kids. I can sometimes get lost in them... they're so precious. One of my children has really started to bond with me and I love how he's coming out of his shell and playing more with the kids as I encourage/invite him to join in. I am getting swamped in cuddles and "I love yous" at the moment too. Perhaps because last week I made such a big deal about giving cuddles and caring for each other when another child was pushing.

Regina Spektor - Carbon Monoxide

Come on daddy [x8]

Carbon monoxide
Soon we'll go to sleep
No one will notice we're gone
Cause we don't have a job to keep
They'll just say that we're being lazy
Sex crazy, sex cra-zazy
They'll just say we're living our whole life in bed
And we'll be in bed but we'll be oh so very much
Dead-a, dead-a, dead-a, dead-a, dead-a
Dead-a, dead-a, dead-a, dead-a, dead-a
Dead-a, D-dead
Yeah
But we're so cool, we're so cool, we're so cool
Dead-a, dead-a, dead-a, dead-a, dead-a
Dead-a, dead-a, dead-a, dead-a, dead-a
Dead-a, D-dead
Dead
But we're still cool, we're still cool, we're still cool

Cathrine

Between The Bars

2009-09-13T07:13:00.004+10:00

I just filled in an application for a passport. Yeah baby! Life is going at a million miles an hour and I'm trying to keep up... I'm excited but nervous. I'm going to the Philippines with mum at the end of the year for 2 weeks. :)

It's already getting to be mid-September. This years feels almost over. Blink and it'll be gone. I was listening to this song yesterday... I like it. Another Elliott Smith cover.

Madeleine Peyroux - Between The Bars

I wonder where people get the bravery to travel overseas - backpack on their own through foreign countries, where you don't know the people or the customs. I was talking with a friend about going to work in England as a light-hearted kind of idea. I could never really do it. I'm not brave enough. But it would be nice if I were that adventurous.

Anyway, better get ready to head out... big day ahead.

Cathrine

(500) Days Of Summer

2009-09-09T21:58:00.005+10:00

I saw (500) Days Of Summer tonight with Kat... and I loved the soundtrack. This Regina song hit me where I lived. Especially the line, "I'm the hero of this story I don't need to be saved"...

Regina Spektor - Hero

The scene in the movie where You Make My Dreams Come True was used cracked me up! Love, love, love! It shows the main character (also named Tom) dancing to work after having got the girl. :) I remember when I first started dating Tom life was seriously just that golden and glorious! haha I remember when walking felt like dancing and I was constantly singing/humming/whistling "Good Day Sunshine". Bliss!

Hall & Oates - You Make My Dreams Come True

Today was pretty fantastic. I bought Paul Dempsey's new album and bought The Beatles Rock Band for Guitar Hero. Then met up with Tom and we went to his Shakespeare lecture. :) Afterwards I had an afternoon that makes me laugh to reflect on it. Tom and I climbed a tree in Victoria Park, splashed seagulls while eating lunch on the grass, listened to Shelter In The Storm on my iPod while walking around Central station, bumped into an art gallery in China Town, drank coffee in a Starbucks... Action packed.

You make me happy. :)

Night,

Cathrine

Ljósið

2009-09-09T10:25:00.004+10:00

I love music with beautiful, meaning-filled lyrics. I love music that tells stories, that captures moments. I try and string them together to create my own soundtrack. I try and find the perfect song to fit my mood or current situation. However, there are times when words get in the way and they detract and distract. In these times I take refuge in my lyric-less music, my jazz and classical music. When I'm on my own, I sometimes sing in the shower... not words... but just sing melodies that are sad or reflective or contented. I let my voice go where it will. It feels like a dance sometimes... not being bound by words means you can sometimes say something deeper.

That's how I see it anyway. :) Tom shared this with me this morning. I think it's beautiful.

Ólafur Arnalds - Ljósið

Love,

Cathrine

Betty Davis Eyes

2009-09-09T09:04:00.002+10:00

It's a Wednesday - my day off. :) But I have Friday off too for Tom and my six month anniversary. Three day week bliss. I have gone through the wringer lately but I'm seeing the light. The weather is warmer, days at work are settling into a outdoor start which is lovely, and I'm looking at what I have and I'm remembering to be thankful.

I have a few errands to run today and in the evening I'm going to watch a movie with Kat called 500 Days of Summer. It looks like a lot of fun. I'm also looking forward to seeing Paul Dempsey at the Manning next week. So in honour of him, this:

Paul Dempsey - Betty Davis Eyes

:)

Cathrine

God On Our Side

2009-09-07T19:17:00.002+10:00

So I was walking to Tom's place yesterday and listening to my iPod. It has such a wealth of songs that I don't know since Tom gave me a random selection of his music. Anyway, I've been curious about who Manfred Mann is and then this song came on. I was moved despite myself. And I found out today it's actually written by Bob Dylan. Haha. He keeps doing that... writing amazing songs that people cover.

Manfred Mann - God On Our Side

In other news, car insurance is sorted out... now for a place to move out to.

Cathrine

Gamble Everything For Love / Amateur

2009-09-06T08:25:00.007+10:00

So I've been putting this off because writing about the Aimee Mann concert would be hard to contain properly in words. However, I'm going to put on my "give it a go anyway" hat and see what happens. ^_^

I had to meet Tom's family at the Enmore Theatre at 7.45pm, which gave me around 20 mins to get ready after I got home for work. :D In a mad rush I showered, washed and blow dried my hair, and got dressed! I ran to the station in 6 minutes and made the train with 2 minutes to spare. Mad skills. I was so excited that when I saw Tom I did this 'tarded run and jump thing... good thing he was quick enough to pick me up. :P Sometimes a hug hello isn't enough, you know?

I got the ticket and Anna said that Ben Lee was opening for Aimee. I didn't really know his music but I was curious and excited. After a drink, we sat down and Ben Lee sang this song to open:

Ben Lee - Gamble Everything For Love

It made me smile. It still does. I like listening to it. Check out the location of the video clip. :) Ben Lee played a few songs that I hadn't heard that I liked also. He won me with his audience participation. I lovelove singing and singing legitimately during a concert? LOVE. Normally I'm singing along quietly to songs I like and hoping the people around me aren't too annoyed and can't hear me too much. But Ben Lee had us doing call and response songs, one of them being:

Ben Lee - Song For the Divine Mother of the Universe

Ben Lee was quite a goofy character. Endearingly goofy, though. He was clearly Australian and made a few cheesy references to Kerry Ann Kenley, Bert Newton and Neighbours. But he won me when someone from the crowd called out, "Sing Gamble Everything For Love" and Ben said, "I sung that first Mr Lateypants"! Nice. :) Aww, and instead of having a band to back him, he had his iPod. For serious. :P It made me laugh a lot.

Aimee Man's concert started on a slow note. I wasn't too keen on the bland flavour of the songs. She did warn us she wanted to play some songs she normally doesn't and then proceeded to sing a B-Side track. However, I really got into her music later into the performance. She had two people supporting her, two guys, and they played a wide gamut of instruments - electric keyboards that produce quirky sounds, drums, bass, piano, tamporine/percussion, recorder! In particular, of the guys on piano made my night by the way he jazzed everything up so much on the piano... it was so so good to hear live piano music like that again. I forgot how much I missed just pure awesome on the piano. I have too much guitar music at the moment. lol

So Aimee played a few songs that I really liked. She sang this on her own, about three quarters into the concert and it was haunting and beautiful:

Aimee Mann - Red Vines

When she sang Wise Up, it was perfect. It was one of those moments that clicks and all you can think is "I'm really glad I'm here, could it get better than this?" and you look over and an amazing person is holding your hand and it does. It's something you can't describe, a mixture of gladness and joy... love and music. I also really liked:

Aimee Mann - Amateur

I think half the awesomeness of the night out was that it was with Tom and his family too. I like his family a lot. It's really nice that they're awesome and go to concerts together. I'll just live vicariously through his family. Tom was all, "see what you're getting yourself into?" haha I love it. :)

I hope that post wasn't too painful for you. I'm not really in a concert-review frame of mind. I'm more focused on getting car insurance for my new car and looking for somewhere to move out to that I can afford on the North Shore. When it rains, it pours.

Later gaters,

Cathrine

Wise Up

2009-09-03T23:06:00.005+10:00

I'm going to see Aimee Mann with Tom, his dad, brother, and sister tomorrow night. Completely awesome. It's very sweet of them to invite me. I'm excited at the thought of going to a concert with Tom and his family. I only know a couple of her songs but I love this song.

Aimee Mann - Wise Up

So yay. :)

Love,

Cathrine

Singing Cats

2009-09-03T19:47:00.002+10:00

Saw this on a friend's blog and couldn't resist reposting.

Singing Cats!

<3!

Rap

2009-09-03T19:32:00.004+10:00

So when I was in Primary School I had a friend who was obsessed with 2Pac. I listened to California Love until we both had it memorised. I haven't listened to 2Pac since high school (year 10) and Tom reminded me in a passing comment of his music. So I'm reminiscing. And there's this Kanye song... I heard it on my iPod and recognised it. Tom sings bits of it at different times. :P It made me laugh on the way home - "we want pre-nup". LOL!

Life Goes On - Tupac

Kanye West - Gold Digger

So way back when... when I was 16 and dating boys who drove cars and danced to RnB... who were charmers and playas... I liked this music, mostly against my will. Everyone listened to RnB/rap and so what choice did I have? Anyway, I still like dancing to this music. It's kind of the only thing I know how to dance to... but it makes me look kinda trashy. :P

But since Kat's not home, I can turn it up and dance and look like westie, wanna be nigga trash. :P

Laters,

Cat

It Don't Matter To The Sun

2009-09-02T20:12:00.002+10:00

So I was walking home and looking up at the moon and sometimes songs just click. I never really heard this song before... but I did tonight.

Rosie Thomas - It Don't Matter To The Sun

:)

Cathrine

My Body Is A Cage

2009-09-02T20:06:00.001+10:00

Today this song didn't leave my mind for long.... sang it so often with Tom at different points. :) It's catchy.

Arcade Fire - My Body is a Cage

:)

Cathrine

Something For Kate - Waltz #2 (Elliott Smith cover)

2009-08-31T22:42:00.003+10:00

Oh. My. Gosh. I think I'm transformed into bliss. I was looking for a youtube video of Paul Dempsey singing "Born To Run" because he always performs it at his live shows and it's awesome but man, I couldn't find it. However my dear music aficionados! I found this. This incredible gem... A blend of two of my favourite artists. I avoid listening to Elliott and have done so for years because music is powerful and Elliott has the powerful ability to drag me downwards. However, I'm pretty low at the moment and sometimes you need something equally low to bring you up.

This is gold.

Something For Kate - Waltz #2

First the mic, then a half cigarette
Singing Kathy's clown
That's the man she's married to now
That's the girl that he takes around town
She appears composed
So she is, I suppose
Who can really tell?
She shows no emotion at all
Stares into space like a dead china doll

I'm never gonna know you now but I'm gonna love you anyhow

Now she's done, and they're calling someone
Such a familiar name
I'm so glad that my memory's remote
'Cos I'm doing just fine hour to hour, note to note
Here it is, the revenge to the tune
You're no good, you're no good, you're no good, you're no good
Can't you tell that it's well understood?

I'm never gonna know you now but I'm gonna love you anyhow

I'm here today, expect it to stay on, and on, and on
I'm tired, I'm tired
Looking out on the substitute scene
Still going strong
XO Mom
It's OK, it's alright, nothing's wrong
Tell Mr. Man with impossible plans
To just leave me alone
In the place where I make no mistakes
In the place where I have what it takes

I'm never gonna know you now but I'm gonna love you anyhow
I'm never gonna know you now but I'm gonna love you annyhow
I'm never gonna know you now but I'm gonna love you anyhow

I love how the crowd is singing along. We who love Paul, love Elliott also.

Night,

Cathrine

J'ai une voiture....

2009-08-28T21:28:00.005+10:00

It's true. I have a car. Mum went and bought me one. A red 2006 Toyota Corolla. I'm a little bit turned around. This week (up until finding out this news) has been un-awesome. I could make a long list of how many ways this week has failed. When mum told me she bought the car, I laugh and then didn't believe her and then did a little bit and laughed some more. It'd been a while since I laughed like that. I didn't know what to do. Be happy? So weird. lol

But it's awesome and I'm grateful and stunned and gah!

I texted a friend at work about the car and she said I no longer had to memorise bus numbers. lol It's funny how many buses I know... but yeah, it's true. I'll be a driver. I'll be more worried about parking than how to get there. Exciting. :) Oh the places I will go! And take Tom with me. *laughs* (all in due time)

On the bus home I listened to such a random assortment of songs... I went without music for a week and nearly died. It was part of a music fast and it was awesome for the first couple of days, then it became more burdensome than edifying so the fast was broken. Music is more than music. It's ingrained in me... it's part of what pumps blood through my veins, it's mixed in with the air that I breathe. So it's awesome to have music back and I definately appreciate it with new eyes and 'use' it in a more considered fashion.

I started making a list of songs in which the artists screams in the song. I'd maybe call the mix "Screamers". So far:

Janis Joplin - Ball and Chain
Paul McCartney - Hey Jude
Emiliana Torrini - Tomorrow
Xiu Xiu - I Luv The Valley Oh!
Joe Cocker - A Little Help From My Friends

(thanks Tom for the last two)

What else is there?

Anyway, night...

Cathrine

A Whole New World

2009-08-27T18:32:00.003+10:00

Let's play 'good thing/bad thing'.

Good Thing:
A child brought in a CD with this song on it and sang it for the class. So so brilliant! Disney is love, this song is grand. My lil girl singing this for the whole class - pretty much pitch perfect - made my day. Key changes, male/female vocals be damned she took it all in her stride.

Aladdin & Jasmine - A Whole New World

Bad Thing:
I wanted to sing along with her but really, I couldn't in good conscience take the limelight from her.

<3

Cathrine

Ramona Was A Waitress

2009-08-26T22:29:00.002+10:00

This is Paul's first single from his new album "Everything Is True", which is out now. I love his voice. It is so familiar and warm. His music has been a friend from early high school.

Paul Dempsey - Romona Was A Waitress

I'll be buying that album asap.

Cathrine

Excerpts

2009-08-26T21:52:00.007+10:00

I have certain favourite lines from songs at the moment.
Some include:

click to enlarge

Bob Dylan - Tangled Up In Blue

Then she opened up a book of poems
And handed it to me
Written by an Italian poet
From the thirteenth century.
And every one of them words rang true
And glowed like burnin' coal
Pourin' off of every page
Like it was written in my soul from me to you,
Tangled up in blue.

Bob Dylan - Shelter From The Storm

Suddenly I turned around and she was standin' there
With silver bracelets on her wrists and flowers in her hair.
She walked up to me so gracefully and took my crown of thorns.
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."

Simon and Garfunkel - Kathy's Song

And as I watch the drops of rain
Weave their weary paths and die
I know that I am like the rain
There but for the grace of you go I.

There are others... but this will do for now.

Cathrine

Another World

2009-08-17T20:13:00.003+10:00

I have been listening to a lot of Antony lately. I'm almost always singing Daylight and the Sun in my head - consciously and unconsciously. I really like the song. I listened to another Antony song (Another World) with Tom yesterday and it's another incredibly beautiful one. I cried the first time I heard it.

Antony and the Johnsons - Another World

I'm always learning about life, and re-learning. Lessons learnt so far:

- I can face problems and by facing them, begin to fix them
- I am allowed to make mistakes, or rather:
- It's okay for things not to be perfect
- Life is worth the effort
- God loves me
- I'm not alone (thanks Tom, Kat and Aisha)

I sometimes get really scared. I look at where I am and sometimes think I should be so much more further along than I am and I push myself further out than I'm ready because of it. I'm learning to be okay with where I am, even if it's not perfect, and pick up and try. It helps no one to ignore problems. The gentleness in this song is one of the things that kills me. I have been treated so gently and tenderly of late. I think it's one of the things that life needs.

:)

Cathrine

Daylight And The Sun

2009-08-14T18:34:00.002+10:00

I love this song so incredibly much. It's rich and full and it resonates so much with my heart/soul. I am moved when I listen to it.... Thank you so much for showing it to me. :)

Antony and the Johnsons - Daylight and the Sun

There was no light
Only the white night
First born when the sun
Screamed her eyes open
Daylight in the fields
Daylight mountains
Fire kisses the floor
Of the lakes and makes shadows

Now I cry for daylight
Daylight and the sun
Now I cry for daylight
Daylight everyone
Daylight in my heart
Daylight in the trees
Daylight kissing everything
She can see

Ooh your dream
Here on the water
Warm the sand
The seagulls calling
Kissed by kindness

You gave me this
Your fire becomes a kiss

Love,

Cathrine

Abel

2009-08-13T23:12:00.002+10:00

So after Kat's birthday dinner (HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAT!) I was walking home and listening to this song on my iPod. It seems that's when I do most of my quality listening. I'd just said goodbye to Tom, who was getting on the bus, and this song made me laugh instead of shed a little tear. Why should I be sad about missing him when it's so fantastic that I have him? I love the energy in this song's chorus. I want to jump up and down and mosh...

The Nation - Abel

:)

Cathrine

Buckets of Rain

2009-08-13T00:17:00.004+10:00

I'm making friends with Bob Dylan's music. There are a few that I really like already but I heard this song for the first time tonight walking home. His music is made for travelling. This is a happy-sad song...

Bob Dylan - Buckets of Rain

Goodnight...

Cathrine

For Emily, Wherever I May Find Her

2009-08-11T23:05:00.002+10:00

Something tender from Simon and Garfunkel. They are poetry. I used to write like this. :)

Simon and Garfunkel - For Emily, Wherever I May Find Her

What a dream I had
Pressed in organdy
Clothed in crinoline
Of smoky burgundy
Softer than the rain

I wandered empty streets down
Past the shop displays
I heard cathedral bells
Tripping down the alleyways
As I walked on

And when you ran to me
Your cheeks flushed with the night
We walked on frosted fields
Of juniper and lamplight
I held your hand

And when I awoke
And felt you warm and near
I kissed your honey hair
With my grateful tears
Oh I love you, girl
Oh I love you

Goodnight, goodnight.

Your,
Cathrine

That's The Way

2009-08-11T06:28:00.002+10:00

I was walking home yesterday after work and I was listening to my iPod again. I put this song on (though it's not this actual version). It was a live recording of Led Zep playing "That's The Way" - one of my favourite songs by them. I was enamoured. I was blown away. I was laughing and bubbling over with delight. I can't explain why I love this song so much... the lyrics tug at my heart. The gentle guitar strumming is enough but leaves me wanting more with this funny kind of ache. And I love Robert Plant's semi-screaming vocals. Love. :)

So my dear children... here it is:

Led Zeppelin - That's The Way

I think I'll have to make the actual version that Tom gave me available to you guys because it is truly beautiful...

I hope you all have beautiful days. We have to much to be thankful for...

Love,

Cathrine

Just A Song About Ping Pong

2009-08-09T09:40:00.004+10:00

First step to treating others well: Remembering you're also human. When I think about how much other people have to put up with with me, I think it's only fair that I reciprocate a little. I'm forgetful, lazy, unsympathetic, unforgiving, spiteful, etc. Makes me wonder how I scored such wonderful friends, really. :P

Anyway... music. This is our ping pong song. We play ping pong at church.

Operator Please - Just A Song About Ping Pong

Ta da,

Cathrine

Woman By The Well / Ball and Chain

2009-08-08T22:47:00.004+10:00

So I am overwhelmed by so much these days. Emotions. Decisions. Responsibilities. Loves. Fears. Hurts. I don't really have much left to give or strength to give it. Work is so emotionally draining at times and each day is an intense battle. Some days are beautiful and easy, others are just really difficult. There are always so many things to remember and do and I always have a list of things to be done and a growing one of things I should have done, which is painful and annoying.

Being an overachiever is a curse, especially when you're going through a period of less-than-awesomeness. In the mean time, I have hope. I have the hope that endurance builds character and I know that leaving things unresolved and broken leads to just way more hurt down the track to be dealt with - so I also have resolve, to try.

I remain a fan of trying. I think I will replace that as my approach to life... instead of giving up, you know. Even when things are rough.

Sarah Blasko - Woman By The Well

At the moment I'm sticking in beautiful pictures from a magazine into a book. I like the way they used colour. I like collecting ideas for arranging/using colour. It makes a part of my brain think in a way that makes me really happy. lol So ideas for decorating and designing and arranging? Bliss. :)

And then this, my dear friends. Is a fantastic, fantastic song by Janis. It kills me. I love it so much.

Janis Joplin - Ball and Chain

:)

Cathrine

Is This Love?

2009-08-05T08:59:00.002+10:00

I had this song in my head this morning... but I mixed it up with this other one too. :D This morning is one filled with possibility. I will read more of Hamlet on the train and write... having time and space to do that makes me happy inside. :) So the songs:

Bob Marley - Is This Love?

Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - Is This Love?

Love,

Cathrine

Puppet on a String and Heidi Bruehl

2009-08-03T20:41:00.003+10:00

I stumbled upon this song on YouTube this morning. It made me laugh. :) Anything done in French instantly becomes awesome to me... even this stuff.

Sandie Shaw - Puppet On A String (French Version)

There is also an English version, which came first.

Then walking to the train station I had my iPod playing random songs and this one came up. I heart it. Thanks Tom for awesome random French tracks. :)

Tosca - Heidi Bruehl

<3

Cathrine

Water and Dust

2009-07-30T18:39:00.003+10:00

So I had a shocking day at work and I remembered on the bus home that I had my iPod with me. Tom gave me a random selection of his music and I managed to be lucky enough to get this Antony track. I can't really do this song justice. Listen to it in a quiet moment and close your eyes to appreciate it more fully...

Antony and the Johnsons - Dust and Water

Love the coal
Love the way you're waiting
I love your kind patience
Dust and water, water and dust
Water and dust

Did you think I'd leave you here
Forever?
Dust and water, water and dust
Water and dust

How long can dust wait?
Ask the moon
But ask him soon
Ask him soon

Dust and water, water and dust
Water and dust...

As I was leaving and collecting my hugs goodbye from the kids. One of the girls told me to dream of roses. A random thing to say, I thought. I like to tell myself that my kids are appreciators of beauty, poetry, art... :P I'll read into anything I so choose. I thought it was a pretty thing to say....

Cathrine

America

2009-07-29T11:19:00.003+10:00

I've been listening to Simon and Garfunkel all morning and I all but swooned when America came on. Their music fills me with nostalgia. Not in this song, but in others, they outrightly sing about poetry and books and trying to pin meaning down or capture meaning where it may not exist. Words to justify, words to almost claw beauty out of emptiness. My heart/soul yearns towards those things... words, beautiful ones... ones filled with the same ache that my heart feels... it wakes up a part inside myself to hear my own longings voiced out loud.

Simon and Garfunkel - America

I'm looking forward to the train ride into the city, so I can read more of Hamlet on the train. Shakespeare is a nice balm to the soul when I need some literary inspiration/rejuvenation.

Yours,

Cathrine

Wise One

2009-07-29T08:47:00.007+10:00

I was out last night with a friend who likes listening to jazz and we listened to some in the car for a bit. It reminded me that when I do listen to jazz, I really like it. But these days it's only until I put it on do I remember so I haven't been listening to much jazz. So here is Coltrane. I've posted this before but I just think it's magic.

Coltrane - Wise One

While I was in a semi-dream state this morning (Wednesday sleep-in bliss) I mentally blogged about things I would learn from last night. I can't really remember what I said now though. Things the list may have included:

1. Think before I speak
2. Be less defensive/emotionally invested in conversation topics
3. What may be funny to you, may only be funny to you. :P

Well, I only really had the first two things from the dream and the third is an after thought, post-slumber. But I don't see the benefit in getting upset if I can learn from mistakes. It'll be good to try at least, I'm a massive fan of trying now. I'm not going to wait until I'm an expert and perfect at everything before I attempt it as I previously have approached life.

But I have a room to tidy, a pirate flag to buy (I told my shadow that the pirates were coming on Thursday! lol), a Shakespeare lecture to attend with my beau, and dinner to have with friends. It's going to be a good day.

A bientot,

Cathrine

"A word to the wise is sufficient"

Across The Universe

2009-07-27T19:02:00.002+10:00

I was waiting for the bus after work and this song came on my iPod. I felt wrapped up in a world that was larger than myself - expansive, uplifting, warm. I had a nice day at work today. I keep feeling blessed to be working with the children I have in my room. I find it surprisingly easy to be patient as well as firm when I need to be. I loved it when one of my kids later perked up in the afternoon after being really sad and called out to me from where I was in the sandpit, to show me that he was playing with the other kids and was happier. :) It made me glad I walked over and was encouraging but allowed him to join in with everyone else when he was ready. I'm glad he showed me that he was okay.

My shadow made wombat stew again. We planted alfalfa seeds. We painted paper doylies with eticol dye. We painted on huge pieces of paper on a table outside in the sun in the morning with fine brushes and flowers. I was bliss with my kids. :)

So I like this song.

Rufus Wainwright - Across The Universe

It comes with a charming little home video. :)

Love,

Cathrine

Gentle Hours

2009-07-26T22:49:00.002+10:00

So I like this song. It's from Dark Was The Night. It fits a little with where I am.

Yo La Tengo - Gentle Hours

It's such a pleasure to touch your skin
To touch your skin
It's such a pleasure to touch your heart
To touch your heart
I can hardly wait

I couldn't bare it, to live for fear
Undressing you
You're in my heart all the time
All the time
I will wait till you arrive
To make it to the grave
And I couldn't have done
Anything else

A gentle love
A gentle heart
A gentle love
A gentle heart

You make me glad to be myself. You give me hope that I can become myself. You delight me when you know me and understand. I'm learning who you are and want to show you what I see.

<3

Cathrine

Till There Was You

2009-07-25T13:24:00.002+10:00

This is the song that came to mind last night. :)

The Beatles - Till There Was You

There were bells on the hill
But I never heard them ringing,
No, I never heard them at all
Till there was you.

There were birds in the sky
But I never saw them winging
No, I never saw them at all
Till there was you.

And there was music,
And there were wonderful roses,
They tell me,
In sweet fragrant meadows of dawn, and dew.

There was love all around
But I never heard it singing
No, I never heard it at all
Till there was you!

<3

Cathrine

Disney Tunes

2009-07-24T20:19:00.004+10:00

I watched Disney movies over and over with my brother when I was a kid. My favourites were Beauty and the Beast, The Lion King, Aladdin, and The Aristocats. But I related most to Belle. :) I love that she's stuck in books, reading all the time and I love that beauty is something that isn't based on appearances. I'm all for the diamond in the rough kind of thinking. Which leads me onto Aladdin. :D Tom was making me laugh with Aladdin tunes. The movie is funny. :)

Beauty and the Beast - Belle

Look there she goes a girl
who's strange but special
A most peculiar mad'moiselle
It's a pity and a sin
She doesn't quite fit in
'Cause she really is a funny girl
A beauty but a funny girl
She really is a funny girl
That Belle

Aladdin - Prince Ali

Gotta eat to live, gotta steal to eat
Tell you all about it when I got the time!

^_^ Had a funny bus driver on my way home. He had me laughing in less than the 10 mins it takes to get to the train station. It was cool.

Night all,

Cathrine

We Won't Run

2009-07-23T23:27:00.004+10:00

My world is so small sometimes, the confines of my thoughts are quite limiting. Music sets my thinking free a little, so does art and photography. I've been looking at some incredible photos taken by a friend of a friend on Facebook as they travelled through France and Spain. I don't know how or why, but seeing these things rejuvenates me. There is a world out there, completely beautiful and completely removed from where I am. If I chose, I could travel. If I chose and changed a lot of things, I could go to France in the near future. It's enough to make me smile. I know it's unlikely with all that I've set upon doing and the expense involved. But I wonder at the way I limit myself... could I travel? Be an au pair or something like that? What would that do to me, for me?

I'm a bird in a cage. But isn't it that the world is a prison...? *laughs* Such bitterness. Maybe Hamlet would be appropriate reading to follow up my Robin Hobb. :)

I want to build a future for myself but I keep getting pulled back by the fact that God needs to do the building. I know it's freedom to know Christ, but it doesn't seem that way sometimes. Surrendering yourself to receive God's will instead of your own? That's freedom? I know we often make bad choices and God knows best, but come on? I hate when people make Christianity into some fluffy, feel-good thing. It's not that to me. But because I think it's about discipline and obedience, I am shipwrecked when things pull me away from that - and often do. What's a girl to do? I recently learnt about the trick of love and it's importance. It filled a void in my understanding of God that helped other things make sense, and more bearable/do-able. I also learnt about grace recently, but I'm still not 100% sure on that one. I feel my failures more than I think is right/helpful or maybe it's just a product of my intense personality type rather than due to a lack of knowledge/understanding of God?

Sigh.

I am trying but every day is new and difficult. Well, not every day because some days are golden... but what do you do when the days start joining together and becoming weeks? For a while there I was under pressure but not broken and I think help arrived a little too late. Now things are okay again but I'm trying to pull the pieces back together still (work-wise). I want my sure foundation back. Oh wait, I never really had one... so I want one of those. I'm afraid that I won't get it because the God that I know won't be fooled by my half-hearted attempts and flopping failures. I don't know how to give God what he wants/deserves consistently... or maybe more bluntly, I don't want to. How do I give all of myself? God must know that we're broken, sinful people? How do we sinful dudes ever walk in his footsteps? I was explained that he himself helps us.... so I guess maybe my next step is to be asking for help everyday? Sigh. I'm sure it will help... I'm so overrun. I can't see/think clearly these days.

Sarah Blasko - We Won't Run

I'm tired of guilt, I'm tired of being sorry
Haven't we suffered enough?

We won't run, we can fight
All that keeps us up at night
There is far to go now,
let's not waste a minute more in denial.

Oh, that our eyes will be opened...

Love,

Cathrine

Little Black Sandals, Chocolates & Cigarettes

2009-07-23T22:02:00.006+10:00

So I'm not sure what to say. Things have been less than awesome and I'm reluctant to immortalise that in music. Maybe I need to be more accepting of my down-feelings as well as my up-feelings. haha... I know both are as inevitable as day follows night. (oh wow, how ironic that this is the phrase that comes to mind since 'as day follows night' is the title of Sarah Blasko's new album, which I have been listening to so much of.) So here are the songs that are my friends when I'm blue:

Sia - Little Black Sandals

Angus and Julia Stone - Chocolates & Cigarettes

Still too young to fail, too scared to sail away
But one of these days I'll grow old
And I'll grow brave and I'll go
One of these days

So yeah. This was a post. Not much more.

Cathrine

Puccini - Un Bel Di Vedremo

2009-07-20T21:35:00.003+10:00

Sometimes I feel a little like this:

Puccini - Madame Butterfly "Un bel di vedremo"

He will call Butterfly from the distance
I without answering
Stay hidden
A little to tease him,
A little as to not die.
At the first meeting,
And then a little troubled
He will call, he will call
"Little one, dear wife
Blossom of orange"
The names he called me at his last coming.
All this will happen,
I promise you this
Hold back your fears -
I with secure faith wait for him.

Do you see it? He is coming!
I don't go down to meet him, not I.
I stay upon the edge of the hill
And I wait a long time
but I do not grow weary of the long wait.

And leaving from the crowded city,
A man, a little speck
Climbing the hill.
Who is it? Who is it?
And as he arrives
What will he say? What will he say?

One good day, we will see
Arising a strand of smoke
Over the far horizon on the sea
And then the ship appears
And then the ship is white
It enters into the port, it rumbles its salute.

It's so beautiful and sad. It aches.

Cathrine

All I Want

2009-07-19T20:23:00.004+10:00

Sarah Blasko's new album (As Day Follows Night) is beautiful. The opening track "Down On Love" is haunting. It opens with a gentle piano and her tender voice singing 'lately you've been down on love, crying out to the man above / i believe in miracles, but a miracle you can't control'. It has a minor tone and reminds me a little of the Phantom of the Opera and the winter scenes and the sad music box. I wish I could show it to you, but you'll have to buy it. It's worth it. It's like a flurry of chill snow, blowing you along and into an ice palace with crystaline statues and delicate-looking furniture, staircases and window cills made also of ice. That's how I see it anyway.

The second track is this one:

Sarah Blasko - All I Want

No-one wants to be lonely
But what am I to do?
I'm just trying to be honest
I don't want to hurt you too
When I'll be there, I'll be there
I know I sound confused

But all I want
All I want
All I want
All I want
All I want
See, all I want
All I want
Is to one day come to know myself

The words are hard hitting and real. I love it as much as it cuts into me. Her voice reminds me of Emiliana Torrini's "Fisherman's Woman".

Anyway, more on this later (possibly).

Cathrine

Literary-Inspired Outpouring & The Beatles - Rock Band (game)

2009-07-18T22:22:00.007+10:00

I'm torn in a hundred different directions. The world is full of things that are worthy of my attention and time and care. I'm not dividing myself up properly. Today I spent a few hours reading The Dragon Keeper, a new book by Robin Hobb. I adore her writing and I'm squeeing over hints and snatches of old characters in this new series. Brashen, Althea and they have a son! Paragon and Selden and Malta and Reyn. I want to absorb all that I can about each person and find out how their lives are faring.

I suppose it's silly... but that's how it is. In these new adventures and challenges, my own world around me is brightened and given new purpose and delight. I catch the excitement of travelling from them and wonder how I can fill my life with things that are from different countries and cultures around me. I wonder at how I spend my time and wonder at why I don't spend time learning/using my French more. Or why I don't paint more, or read more, or keep up with new art and old art and fill my world with beauty. I remember the Fool and his room in the tower at Buckkeep. Why should life be rushed and devoid of those things which are beautiful?

At most I can keep my room tidy... but where is the time for beauty? There is a new shop in Redfern, on Redfern St even, that I walked into this afternoon. It was incredible. So many beautiful antiques. Things made from wood, huge sea shells, metal buckets with soft flowers growing in them, and candles - tall ones and hidden ones inside glass sconces. The shelves went right up to the tall ceiling and the room was cool and dark but also warm and inviting. You looked around and everything delighted the eyes. Everything was also expensive, but we'll overlook that.

I'm tired... my delight is worn down. I delight in you, Tomothy, and in my books and in my work, which is hard at times but very rewarding. But I want to delight in life and all that life offers. I want to fill my life with wonderful things... I don't want to spend lots of money, and I know you don't need to. I just want to make a start. If I think about it, I'm sure I can come up with a number of inexpensive ways of decorating my room or filling my time and thoughts with beautiful things.

Is it silly? I used to dream like this a lot. My old place in Stanmore was a haven in a way for these kinds of dreams. I don't like having bare walls. Aren't I an artist? A poet? A lover of music and nature and colour? haha Can't I do better than what I'm currently doing?

I miss Fitz. I'd forgotten that Paragon was shaped after Fitz's face by Amber... ah Miss Amber. I remember the exact moment when I realised you were the Fool. Once I made the connection, and realised you were in the second series, just under a new name and persona... I think I died a little from joy.

What I really should be doing though is not neglecting my responsibilities to friends and family. I could definately do better there. But people are hard and I sometimes prefer books and art and impersonal things like trees and clouds. It's selfishness and rudeness but that's how it goes.

In a completely different vein, I was wandering around Kiwibox and read an article about a new game to be soon released. The Beatles: Rock Band. I want to get it! It looks like an incredible lot of fun. :D :D :D

The Beatles - Rock Band (game)

Anyway. This is just me grasping for things which I'm sure I'm losing touch with. It's always a constant battle. I remember in high school I swam so easily and confidently in the world of art and music and nature and colour. I filled my time with it because classes involved those things and my friends and I talked about those things daily and I had a blog then and I was always remodelling it and thinking about design and colour and taking photographs. Gah. Times are hard now because there is less time.

Meow,

Cathrine

Quiet

2009-07-18T19:15:00.002+10:00

I blogged this song in March, but really I love it and I want to share it again. It's beautiful.

Rachael Yamagata - Quiet

:)

Cathrine

I Was Young When I Left Home

2009-07-18T12:50:00.003+10:00

So I was listening to this song last night and I love it. But I didn't know it was a cover of a Bob Dylan song. Did you know that Tom? No wonder you like it too. :)

Antony and Bryce Dessner - I Was Young When I Left Home

Bob Dylan - I Was Young When I Left Home

Yours,

Cathrine

Ticket To Ride

2009-07-16T19:00:00.003+10:00

So I had a good day at work today. Having 2 hours of programming in the morning might have had something to do with it. I got quite a bit done! Plus it's so so nice not having a back log of things to stick in kid's books. I love also sitting with them and sticking their artworks in their books and talking to them about things they've previously done. It's like I can get work done while playing - such an awesome combination. I almost had a lunch break today because of it. :D

Anyway... I'm in a good mood. So much so that I was singing at work (singing this song). My boss walked in on me and I was mildly embarrassed but I pretended I wasn't. :P I'm awesome.

The Beatles - Ticket To Ride

I think I'm gonna be sad,
I think it's today, yeah.
The girl that's driving me mad
Is going away.

She's got a ticket to ride,
She's got a ticket to ride,
She's got a ticket to ride,
But she don't care.

She said that living with me
Was bringing her down yeah.
She would never be free
When I was around.

She's got a ticket to ride,
She's got a ticket to ride,
She's got a ticket to ride,
But she don't care.

I don't know why she's ridin' so high,
She ought to think twice,
She ought to do right by me.
Before she gets to saying goodbye,
She ought to think twice,
She ought to do right by me.

<3 x 3

Cathrine

Around You

2009-07-14T22:23:00.004+10:00

Last night I had a dream that shiny pieces of pink and white paper were falling on me as I lay dead on the ground. The white and pink paper represented purity and condemnation. It was not as intense as other dreams that I've had and I think it only means what it means, that I'm struggling with these these in the relationships around me. It was pretty though, quite cinematic. I'd seen the first half of the War of the Roses recently, and they had small pieces of gold paper fall throughout the whole play... it was an idea pinched from that.

I sometimes struggle to sing out loud. Sometimes because I forget the words or get them mixed up, other times because I'm shy. But sometimes, I'm brave and careless and sing and don't care who hears me, and I know the words and it's all okay. I think I can sing... at least, when I'm not feeling like a fool I can.

Oh Fool... Fool... I wonder, wonder so much if my new book contains a glimmer of you. Glimmer. It's such a good word for you. During my lunch break a couple of the people I work with were talking about books they'd read and enjoyed and I just couldn't speak. It's like revealing a precious secret during a conversation about football scores. :P I don't talk about books I read because my books are intimate friends/lovers at times... I guess I'm weird like that. Sometimes books are preferable to people though.

I feel all mixed up. This song is pretty about being mixed up.

Ingrid Michaelson - Around You

So yeah,

Cathrine

Throw Your Arms Around Me

2009-07-13T17:42:00.003+10:00

Had an okay day at work. :) I didn't have a lot planned for the day but you know it was nice all the same. A couple of golden moments with a couple of my kids and I was able to write up those things as individual observations in their books because of the new programming format we're using. I like the new format's flexibility. :)

I called MSY about getting a computer and they said to email them. So depending on how soon they can put the computer I want together, I'll be able to pick it up maybe Wednesday or Saturday. :D I'm already transferring everything to my external hard drive. I thought it was only 80gigs from memory but it's actually 300gigs. Hawt.

I had this song in my head coming home...

Hunters and Collectors - Throw Your Arms Around Me

I will squeeze the life out of you
You will make me laugh and make me cry
We will never forget it
You will make me call your name
and I'll shout it to the blue summer sky

Tomorrow's another day. hehe

Cathrine

Nothing Brings Me Down

2009-07-12T10:21:00.002+10:00

A late night so a late start. I feel oddly at peace with the shape today will take. Not going to run around, just going to do what I need to at home. I am finding peace in the things which worry me, God is becoming a firmer source of strength I think. I am delighted. Trusting in his goodness and provision gives such freedom.

It's a morning for Emiliana Torrini. I love her Fisherman's Woman album. It's so gentle and beautiful... lyrical... it reminds me of a ship sitting out on a calm day, gently bobbing up and down in the waves.

Emiliana Torrini - Nothing Brings Me Down

my love for you is ready

Love,

Cathrine

Saturday's Gone

2009-07-11T08:30:00.003+10:00

I like the breathy tones in this song...

Isobel Campbell and Mark Lanegan - Saturday's Gone

I feel kind of hazy this morning. A lot less sick though, which is surprising and welcome. I have a lot of cleaning to do and laundry and I really would prefer to vegetate. Listen to music and sit and listen to music again.

Today will be good though. I have finished my reports (mostly, haha) and it feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. When I go into work tomorrow (hahaha, yeah, I really want to) I want to get all the other things done. Get ready for the new program, get my head around having those new children moving up, sort out thing for the week ahead. It feels more like tidy up rather than workworkwork. I love tidy up, where you can put everything away to their proper place and have everything fresh and clean. (epiphany!) I think I've been this way since I was at least 5 years old. :P I used to love cleaning my room as a kid and got a massive kick out of having a tidy room with everything in it's place. :P Wow. Insights into the depth of my crazy behaviour....

:)

Yay.

Cathrine

P.S. The Pastels are very pretty this morning. I like the violin in 'Leaving This Island'. :)

Skinny Love

2009-07-10T22:19:00.010+10:00

So I haven't blogged this song... it's one that is worthy. I've had such a full on night. I love love. I love it. I think it's fantastic. When you have it you're a king. When you give it, you're giving treasures. When you receive it, you are blessed. When you accept it, you accept that you're loveable. When you accept it, you are taking with it pieces of the other person's self - their vulnerable inner-most important self that is precious and (so often) locked up. Love breaks in. I had a conversation with my mum on the phone tonight and there was love despite all the stuff that hurt. Love, vulnerability, reality... I want to live there all the time. It's like living without holding back... it's trusting the other person with the stuff that makes up you really. Not just the details about your day, but the details about how you're really doing. Like today was great, but I'm not so great (though I'll be fine).

So you'll not know unless I let you in and let you know... but how do we get to that point in the conversation? How will I know that it's safe to push the conversation into those deep, heavy waters? Old friends can do it with ease and I love it. I prefer that kind of friendship over any other kind. If I can't pour out my heart to you and be that open, then I wonder at how long we will remain friends. All my friends tend to be that kind of people - wonderful, caring, open, loving, genuine. I'm lucky to have those that I do.

And I love our love and all that it's becoming.

Bon Iver - Skinny Love

Apparently, the name, Bon Iver, is a corruption of the French "bon hiver" (good winter). [ref]. I like that. The above photo is of Paris in Winter by a photographer I have followed for years on LJ.
I like his work.

Love.

Cathrine

You're The One That I Want

2009-07-09T22:12:00.002+10:00

*laughs* So I'm totally into you and this song makes me laugh and think of you. <3

Sia and Beck - You're The One That I Want

My kids at work have taken to playing with numbers of late. Asking if infinity is bigger than a google and what about infinity plus 1 or plus infinity again? It blows my mind that 4 years olds are asking those questions and I love being able to try and expand their understanding of numbers by giving them perspectives on how large some of the numbers they're playing with are by using concepts of time and distance.

And stuff like "it just keeps on going...." It's not just a little idea. It's not something that you can say "oh, okay" to. It's a "woah" kind of moment... where you let your mind just keep going. What would happen if you didn't stop and just kept on going - infinity can't be bound by our planetary limitations. Infinity goes way beyond our understanding...

One of my boys is a sweetheart, a charmer. He's always saying things like "I love you more than you love me!" or "I love you more than infinity!" It's silly and I don't buy into it but you know it's his way of saying he thinks you're awesome. I dunno where I'm going with this. I guess I just like the easy way in which kids 'love' and talk about love and express the big-ness of love in such sweeping terms. I try and restrain mine and not be over-the-top or silly... (for the most part) But what would life be like if it were safe to love so fully and freely? And not just romantic love, but all those other kinds? When did love become so scary, when did people become so careless in hurting each other that love became hurtful or dangerous?

Anyway... bed time is soon.

Bonnuit tout le monde,
je t'adore..

Cathrine

Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'

2009-07-08T19:07:00.003+10:00

So after things are slowing down about Michael Jackson, I'll make a blog post. There was so much hype that I think it was a little unreal... but now that a little time has passed, the true loss is starting to sink in. I wasn't ever a huge fan of his but there are a few songs that are undeniably great. This post isn't going to list them. I've just been trying to remember this one song. I did a singing class at Uni last year and the lecturer played us this song... I forget why. :P I just remember thinking it was really funky and fun. I dig the beat.

Michael Jackson - Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'

There you go.
RIP MJ.

Cathrine

Kissing You

2009-07-07T19:59:00.002+10:00

So this song has been one I've liked for a long time. Someone at work reminded me of it, because I got the artist who sings this mixed up with another. :P Oops.

So here you are, "kissing you" by Des'ree... in all it's romantic R+J glory.

<3

Cathrine

First Day Of My Life

2009-07-05T15:55:00.004+10:00

Cuz it's cute, y'all. Thanks to Lucy for getting me to notice it...

Bright Eyes - First Day Of My Life

Conor Oberst sings music that is straight to the point, but somehow still poignant.

Cathrine

Darjeeling Tea - 90-Mile Water Wall

2009-07-05T08:14:00.004+10:00

Darjeeling tea is so satisfying. I try to distract myself with nice things, but I think the hurt keeps coming in - back door, sneaking in the side. When I'm like this, disjointed and sad and broken down, I imagine that's when the poetry inside me leaps to life. Who knows, it's been so long. I wrote pages and pages in my diary yesterday, thoughts, not prose. I thought the words died in me a long time ago though. Who can conjour them back again? Get enough stress and pain together though and maybe you'll be able to create enough emotion for some poetic catharsis. It's not worth it, but at least there's something to show for it.

I once painted and that does a little for me... I'm going for more simple forms of coping now - crying. Though I went out last night, despite massive protests from my emotions, and had a really nice night. Who can explain that one? I'll go for a run this morning too, despite protestation, and will enjoy the beauty of the bush around me totally - unhindered by my emotional state. I wish I could sit down though and not feel this way. Every spare second being consumed in tears.

I like this song; the violin is pretty.

The National - 90-Mile Water Wall

so how could your hair
have the nerve to dance around like that, blowing
and how could the air
have the nerve to blow your hair around like that

It's all just here. Why am I so broken down in spirit? It makes me think of a psalm... (43)

Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Saviour and my God.

Put your hope in God. There really is no other sure foundation in this world... somehow God doesn't depend on man either, doesn't depend on us, has done it all. He even helps us to stand, so we can see him face to face one day. Why indeed so disturbed and downcast? I will put my hope in God... They say when you're at your lowest, your need of God becomes greater and your closeness with him grows. I guess that's what I have to look forward to in these months ahead. If nothing else comes from this, that will be the single redeeming factor in all that I'm going through.

Best go for my run and then get back and do some work on these reports. Kat showed me a map of the bush track on the other side of the road. I'm going to see for myself what it looks like. It sounds beautiful. I thank God that I live in such a beautiful place, I never ever thought I would. I praised a single tree when I lived in Doonside but out here I have bush that is more rainforest to enjoy. I must remember to be thankful for that and all the other small mercies in my life.

Can't give up yet...

Cathrine

Is There A Ghost

2009-07-03T19:29:00.002+10:00

Friday didn't destroy me. Friday was friendly and fun.... stranger things haven't happened, neither more welcome things.

I have this song in my head...

Band Of Horses - Is There A Ghost

It's nifty.

Cathrine

Happy Birthday

2009-07-02T21:51:00.002+10:00

My shadow's birthday is the same day as Jason's. hehe That's kind of funny to me... we had her party this afternoon. She told four different boys that she'd choose them as her 'special' friend to sit at the birthday table with her and when it came to the decision all four boys were clawing for the honour of sitting with her. lololol :P Rebecca and I laughed at the situation she put herself in and allowed two boys to sit with her and placated the others.... I'm kind of proud of her. :P But also unimpressed.

In other news. I'm still alive. I survived today. I hope I survive tomorrow. I watch my life unfold and it's a crazy animal. I sit back and I'm reaching a point where I don't know where my future lies. I took a leap of faith and deferred Uni, hoping God would work out the details if it was really his will and he reallyreally did. Now I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to move forward again.

Sia - Soon We'll Be Found

Let’s not fight I’m tired can’t we just sleep tonight
Turn away it’s just there’s nothing left here to say
Turn around I know we’re lost but soon we’ll be found

Night,

Cathrine

Sleepy Tigers

2009-06-30T20:29:00.002+10:00

I had a crazy dream - there was a white tiger in it.

Her Space Holiday - Sleepy Tigers

Oh I like you so very much so much in fact I gotta wake you up
It's not that I have words to speak
I just wanna see you looking at me
In a way, that states
In an hour when the sun comes up
We're gonna put on our shoes we're gonna shake the dust
Open the door with your brand new key
We won't be afraid of being sweet
to ourselves
Or anybody! anybody else!

Oh I miss you so very much so much in fact i gotta call you up
It's not that I have news to bring
I just wanna make your telephone ring
So it shows and you know
In a week when I fly back home
We're gonna jump in bed and be all alone
you'll make biscuits and I'll make tea
We'll curl up close and then fall asleep
To the sound of no one else no else around

And if Ive learned anything at all
In this short life of mine (it's this)
If you hear that joy has come to town
Track it down, take a picture and tape it to your eyes

Oh I love you so very much so much in fact I'm gonna switch it up
I'm gonna take this room that I built for fun
And burn down the walls in front of everyone
So they see, you and me
Dancing in our sleepy clothes
With two big smiles and a bowl of hope!
That we'll drink down like ginger tea
The heat will help us forget everything
That you and I, that you and I have seen

And if Ive learned anything at all
In this short life of mine (it's this)
If you hear that joy has come to town
Track it down, take a picture and tape it to your eyes.

Bon nuit,

Cathrine

Wiyathul

2009-06-30T18:44:00.005+10:00

I was reminded today by my shadow that I can do change, and I can be positive about it. Today I was so proud of her. She's having to move up into another teacher's group and no longer be with me. She had a think about it when Charlotte asked her what she thought about the change and said "okay". And when we said that we were proud of her, she had such a smile on her face. Like "yeah this is hard, but I can do it!" I don't want her to cling to me, and I don't want her to depend on me. I want her to mature and be independant and thoughtful and kind. She showed a lot of those traits today and I was proud of her and grateful for her reminder. It's funny. I've been having such a hard time of it lately with work and it's mostly to do with staff and room changes. The children keep reminding me over and over that they're the reason why I'm here and that I can do this.

Another child of mine has improved so so much in the last 2-3 weeks in being independant and emotionally mature and resourceful/inventive/creative/awesome. I do a double take sometimes. I spoke to his mum this afternoon and we're both really impressed. :) Little success stories are what make it all worth while.

I still feel like crying because I am overwhelmed at times. But I have hope that I'll be alright. I really am proud of my girl. haha She asked me why she has to move up and I explained we were getting some toddlers moving up into the Red Group and she said she's moving up like two other children who already have. I had no idea how she'd respond. I'm glad she can see the change as a natural progression that everyone has to go through... I hope I can see my changes like that too.

I'm glad I had work today. When I'm away from work, I can focus on it as being work, but when I'm there the kids make it not work and make it "I'm glad I'm with you guys" time. :)

When I'm on early shift, I like to put on classical music or gentle music in the room for the parents and children. Kate commented on my playing Geoffrey Gurrumul Yunupingu's music. It's beautiful. :)

Geoffrey Gurrumul Yunupingu - Wiyathul

:)

Cathrine

Paul Dempsey

2009-06-29T15:59:00.002+10:00

I was listening to Triple J and heard Paul Dempsey's voice and caught the tail end of what he was saying - he was talking about depression and seeking treatment for it. Gah. I knew he was depressed, I mean, it's why I connected with Echolalia... and I know Desert Lights is a massive step up in cheerfulness compared to that 2001 album... but it's funny. I didn't put the change down to him seeking help. It's cool to know.

I spent lots of money today. I bought Guitar World Tour with the guitar, and in a couple of days, I'll buy Guitar Hero III with a guitar... ^_^;; I wasn't going to buy the World Tour but it looked too good to pass up... :P And I tell myself, I have been saving my pay for ages, it's not too bad to buy a few expensive items from time to time. haha Guitar love, here I come!!

Anyway.

I think Paul is amazing, is magic. I guess I'm a sucker for the dark and brooding look.

Paul Dempsey - Monsters

Love and pumpkins,

Cathrine

Home During The Day - Robot Rock

2009-06-29T13:29:00.005+10:00

It feels very, very weird to be home right now. And what's more, to be home and to not have left the house yet though it's 1.30pm! I've been writing in front of my computer or outside in the sun all day. I feel like I've done nothing. I've actually typed/written around 3500 words so it's not like I've done nothing but really... I think I'm going to have to go for a walk.

Last night Jason sent me a couple of youtube videos of Jason Robert Brown music. My high school had a few music nights and a lot of the songs from this musical were used. This one makes me smile. I don't like the new Doctor Who series as much as the old ones and I don't know the whole deal behind Rose and the Doctor but one day I may.

Jason Robert Brown - I'd Give It All For You

And this here has helped me get through sitting in front of my computer for hours. haha Robot Rock. I really didn't like it the first time I heard it. I thought it was repetitive and kind of nothing special... but now I think it's awesome. Go figure?

Daft Punk - Robot Rock

I can't complain though. I have the day off from work... I'm at home working on developmental summaries/report and I'm about half way through and still going strong. I should get to about 70% and then start to think I'm getting to the difficult home stretch. And tonight I'm having people over for dinner and then Tom and I are going to see a movie. Bliss! And Wednesday is Jason's birthday party, so I'm looking forward to another night out too. :D

Lucky me,

Cathrine

The Stranger Song

2009-06-27T10:31:00.003+10:00

More Leonard Cohen. This is why people revere his music. The lyrics are poetry, are beautiful.

Leonard Cohen - The Stranger Song

It's true that all the men you knew were dealers
who said they were through with dealing
Every time you gave them shelter
I know that kind of man
It's hard to hold the hand of anyone
who is reaching for the sky just to surrender
who is reaching for the sky just to surrender.

Chorus 1:
And then sweeping up the jokers that he left behind
you find he did not leave you very much not even laughter
Like any dealer he was watching for the card that is so high and wild
he'll never need to deal another
He was just some Joseph looking for a manger
He was just some Joseph looking for a manger.

Chorus 2:
And then leaning on your window sill
he'll say one day you caused his will
to weaken with your love and warmth and shelter
And then taking from his wallet
an old schedule of trains, he'll say
I told you when I came I was a stranger
I told you when I came I was a stranger.

But now another stranger seems
to want you to ignore his dreams
as though they were the burden of some other
O you've seen that man before
his golden arm dispatching cards
but now it's rusted from the elbows to the finger
And he wants to trade the game he plays for shelter
Yes he wants to trade the game he knows for shelter.

Ah you hate to see another tired man
lay down his hand
like he was giving up the holy game of poker
And while he talks his dreams to sleep
you notice there's a highway
that is curling up like smoke above his shoulder
It is curling just like smoke above his shoulder.

You tell him to come in sit down
but something makes you turn around
The door is open you can't close your shelter
You try the handle of the road
It opens do not be afraid
It's you my love, you who are the stranger
It's you my love, you who are the stranger.

Well, I've been waiting, I was sure
we'd meet between the trains we're waiting for
I think it's time to board another
Please understand, I never had a secret chart
to get me to the heart of this
or any other matter
When he talks like this
you don't know what he's after
When he speaks like this,
you don't know what he's after.

Let's meet tomorrow if you choose
upon the shore, beneath the bridge
that they are building on some endless river
Then he leaves the platform
for the sleeping car that's warm
You realize, he's only advertising one more shelter
And it comes to you, he never was a stranger
And you say ok the bridge or someplace later.

Chorus 1

Chorus 2

I told you when I came I was a stranger.

I'm going for a run, be back later...

Cathrine

Suzanne

2009-06-27T10:01:00.003+10:00

I am trying to keep things in perspective. I've had a tumultuous week at work and I'm really not sure how things are going to work out and since this is real life and not the movies, there are no guarantees that it will work out in the end. But at the same time I have an amazing boyfriend, caring friends, a good church, a great place to live, I'm not struggling financially, and I have a plan for managing the things that aren't so awesome. I think all these things will mean that I'll be okay, even if I'm not in love with the idea of working as much as I will be.

I'm listening to Leonard Cohen. I don't always feel like listening to his music but this morning it's beautiful. He reminds me a little of Gerard (my old French teacher)... they look a little a like... and Gerard was a kind of bright sadness like Leonard. It would be nice to visit my old high school.

Leonard Cohen - Suzanne

Meow,

Cathrine

Love Me Do

2009-06-25T22:40:00.002+10:00

So I had a grand evening with Tom and Kat. First time I ever see 10 Things I Hate About You and the DVD skips at least 10 times from damaged sections! Cry! However, still was fun. I cooked dinner (with the help of Kat!) and Kat made dessert and it was grand. After dropping Tom off, I had this song in my head... lol Tom reminded me that I like The Beatles. :)

The Beatles - Love Me Do

Cheese-y love,

Cathrine